I Will Never Eat At Pam's House

This is a true story. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty innocent.

The week had been the hardest Pam had had in a very long time. Keeping children at her home had gotten the best of her. The remodeling of her home had caused the chaos to overwhelm her. She was exhausted physically as well as mentally. She needed a break.

She called her husband as he left the office to ask if they could go out for dinner. He informed her the budget wouldn't allow it. "Don't we have chicken or something in the freezer?"

She hung up the phone and the rage began to rise, first in her stomach, then in her throat. She jerked the freezer door opened and pulled the chicken out. The innocent frozen bird found itself in the clutches of a mad white woman.

The first smash of the bird against the counter was deafening and brought little peace to Pam. The second and third swing began to calm her some as tiny shards of frozen chicken began to become airborne. As she slammed the meat repeatedly, pieces of the victim stuck to the walls and windows and chunks landed with thuds bringing a calmness to Pam that she hadn't felt in weeks.

When nothing was left of the poor chicken, Pam raised her head and looked around. Her kitchen resembled an explosion aftermath. As she slowly glanced around the room to see the remnants of her rage, her eyes fell on the clock that hung on the wall over the table. Her stingy uncaring husband would be home in 25 minutes. The fit she threw had taken 12 minutes. Twelve minutes to totally dismember a frozen 2.2 pound clucker. She now believed she really could lift a car off a child if someone made her angry.

She smoothed her hair down after wiping the ice and shredded chicken parts off her hands and reached for the stainless pot inside the cabinet. Salmonella dripped from every inch of her large country kitchen, but she didn't seem to mind.

She began to hum as she gathered all the shards and placed them delicately into the pot, not bothering to wipe them off, and walked towards the sink. She looked down at her progress and smiled as the pot was almost half full of dirty chunks. The water was coming to a boil as that frugal man she married 17 years earlier walked through the door. She had already started two side dishes as came up to her to kiss her hello, just like he had every day he came home.

He didn't notice she didn't touch the meat as they ate together in silence. Her selflessness just allowed more for him. They smiled at one another, hers lasting just a bit longer than usual.
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I love "Pam" and want to thank her for great fodder and for allowing me to share it with the world. We are calling for pizza next time I visit, just FYI.