Monday, October 12, 2009

tap tap tap...Anybody out there???

(clears throat nervously) Hey...yoo hoo...it's me. You probably don't remember me. I was once a faithful blogger that believed spending 4-5 hours/day immersed in cyberspace with all my friends was beneficial to me. Then someone convinced me I should become a real mom/wife/employee instead.

So, for 5 months I tried the life of not checking emails or blogs and trying to be productive, like cooking and cleaning and working my dimpley ass off.

I realized that being productive is NOT what it's cracked up to be. It is so NOT fun for me.

I also have since realized that I missed laughing and just how much I have missed my friends.

Truth is, I just can't quit y'all.

So I am back.

Quick recap:
Got out of partnership.
Took a real job.
Finished the pool project and now only go inside to pee and sleep.
Tried that whole domestic crap and have made definite confirmation that I no likey.
Hooked up with Deb
Fell completely in love with her and am now leaving my husband for her.

Speaking of Deb, her last post was about the weekend we spent together. And even though she trashed my hostessing ability, we never stopped laughing except to swig a drink or two (or a hundred). Who needs to eat full meals anyway?? She is on this fat-free diet and I was just supporting it. So there.

Deb was my first "friend" doing this bloggy thing. It was the hatred of aggressive birds that bonded us together. Since that, we have bonded with our shared love of our grandchildren, idiotic children, do-it-yourself home repairs, and now the hole-in-the-wall bar.

I was sweating bullets thinking I was going to have to do the whole tour guide thing, taking her to museums, art displays, symphony productions, and all the other great activities Big D has to offer. When she mentioned she had no desire to do all that intellectual stimulating stuff, I cannot tell you how relieved I was. She was more than happy to just hang out at the misspelled local hangout Kountry Nites.

She was the Belle of the proverbial Ball at this home-away-from-home Dive (which just FYI used to be called Scandals). Her first night there, the bartenders and her were on a first name basis and she made them feel all important by ordering fancy smancy drinks like Lemon Drops and Chocolate Cake shots. She was able to show off her sharky pool moves and great dancing abilities, making me look like I hang out with extremely cool people.

My friends LOVED her and, even as we speak, she and Niki are, I am almost positive, texting each other. (Only because I never have a freakin' signal. Effing TMobile. I am sure they would totally not be leaving me out for any other reason...) There's nothing like having an entire gang of people you love laughing at and making fun of you. Seriously. It's so much fun. (Asses. All of you.)

We have already made plans to reunite ASAP and continue the badgering and poking, which after the first night they slammed me for being all "high-maintenance, snooty, prissy, graceful, etc., etc.", just became droning. They think they are hilarious though, and being the great friend I am, gave them all the ammunition they needed to have fun. Hell, if nothing else, I am accommodating.

I am so excited about getting back into the swing of blogging. I have missed you guys incredibly and cannot wait to catch up. Thank you so much for all the sweet comments about missing me. It makes my snooty prissy head all big.

And we all know here in Texas we like it big.

45 comments:

Ginger said...

Hi Jill:
Welcome back!!! I about fell off my chair when your new post popped up on my side bar...I got all excited. I've missed you and your posts.
Sounds like you and Deb had way too much fun. (no pictures?) Wish we all could of been there to see it.

Wheezer said...

Oh Jillie, how I have missed you!!! I am a slacker in the blogging land too but hope to get back into it with my new crazy idea!

check it out!
http://wheezerscheeze.blogspot.com/2009/10/ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.html

love you, girlie!

Deb said...

first of all, you never struck me as the type that needs to learn things the hard way. i think i (among others)have made it very clear that being domestic and productive sucks. and then you go off and ignore us and try it out yourself. is this when i get to exclaim "i told you so"?

second, i hope this "real job" of yours doesn't interfere with your return to us.

third, i hope you have wi-fi, so you can pursue your true life mission of lying poolside while blogging.

i am sure you and deb yukked it up real good. is she allowed back in the state?

missed you!

Joanie M said...

The Prodigal Blogger returns! Welcome home, Jill! We missed you.

Em said...

Yippeee! Yipppeee!

I wish you could see me clapping like a proud Texas Mama at a beauty pagent.

So glad you're back!

Don't pull that sass again.

midlife slices said...

THAT'S why you were gone?? YOu were trying to domestic route thingy?? sheezzz......what WERE you thinking??

Glad you're back even though I'm now gone (most of the time).

Have I mentioned we only live about 8 miles apart?

Swirl Girl said...

glad your back!!

Halftime Lessons said...

Well, well, well.

I guess you're thinking you're all pretty cute and the like...taking off and letting all of us sit in our own bloggy urine without you.

sigh

Where the hell have you been...we've been worried sick.

;-)

Mango Girl said...

Well...I have had you on my blogroll for some time! And POOF! There you are!

Welcome back!

Rhonda said...

We're running out for Thanksgiving dinner so I can't read it all right now. I just wanted to say HOLY SHIT GIRL, DID I EVER MISS YOU!!!

And second, you have a pool, why are you going inside to pee? lol

I'll come back later!

Welcome back.

Annie said...

While you were away I freaking retired. I had no one to steal ideas from or one up!
Welcome back. Do you have any sticky notes on your back after Deb's visit?!?!

Alice said...

Two days ago I wondered what had happened to you and today you post. Incredible!!! Good to see you back. ; )
Alice

Georgie said...

Glad you are back! Being a productive domestic goddess is not all it's cracked up to be, finally you have come to your senses! Jealous of the GREAT time you and Deb had!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

shit...that last comment was from ME not Georgie.

Trying to Secret Santa stuff and mixing accounts Bwahahahaha

Tenakim said...

(me running at you with open arms) Bitch- where have you been- I missed you. I was wondering if it was something I said, or something I did? I'm so glad you and Deb had fun! Now I need to go read her recap. You better not leave again!!!!

Ronda's Rants said...

Yeah! I am speechless!
Sounds like you have been busy!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Whoopie!

YippieKyYA and all that happy horseshit!

I'm glad you're back...finally.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Justine said...

Wooooooooooo hooooooooooooo! Welcome back to OUR reality, Jill! I've actually missed you. YOu know I still like you if I've kept you on my blog roll all this time, waiting for you to post again. Usually, if someone doesn't post for a month or more they're gone!

So glad you had a great time with Deb, but erm... where are the pictures?

Justine :o )

Beth said...

Welcome back!

Julie said...

Jesus, it's about time you got your ass back here. Thanks for rubbing it in about how much fun you and the other whore had without me. don't even think you can pull it off a second time. I'll fucking be there if I have to arrive in an ambulance.

Welcome home, baby! You've been missed!

Nicole said...

Wow, I thought you fell off the face of the earth!!! Welcome back.

I have been really slacking too, not so much not wanting to blog, just nothing to blog about. A writers block/brain fart kind of month.

Tiffany said...

It's about damn time you came back. We missed your smart ass. Some more than others. LOL

Elaine A. said...

So glad you're back! I was just thinking about you the other day and assuming you gave up on us.

BTW, since you've been gone I've moved AND had a baby... you've missed A LOT. ;-)

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I didn't know you were gone, but found your in a round about way and glad you came back! You are one funny gal, and I like funny gals! So consider me a new stalker from good old Houston!

Jen said...

OMG!!!! You're back. I check here a few times a week knowing that I will see the same entry :( But today was awesome!!! Thank you!!

ElleBee said...

Welcome back! I'm with Ginger on the "nearly falling off my chair" part when I saw you on Google Reader. :)

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Yay clap clap clap she's back!

Soxy Deb said...

Y am I here? I know all this.

I miss you madly and text you but we know you aint gettin it.

Tell all my new friends at the bar - not that you go there often or anything, just whenever you HAPPEN to go back - that I miss them too!!

And I haven't texted Niki in a while. I didn't want her to fall in love with me anymore than she already has. It's a burden I carry with me wherever I go...

Kisses and hugs to y'all!!!
See ya SOON!!!!

The Mom Jen said...

So glad to see you again!

♥georgie♥ said...

Ohhhh Jilly you have been missed i am certain you have tons of blog fodder to share...
I was so sad to have missed all the fun and am hoping there will be a next time...there will be right? RIGHT! lol

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAO...i didnt read comments first then i scrolled and saw my name minus the hearts then I thought WTH-there are 2 of me...then i saw it was amy making the snaffu something I have been doing as well-BUT it's good to know she is staying on top of her SSS dooties LOL

John Deere Mom said...

Glad you're back!

♥georgie♥ said...

why are you showing up as a new post? LOL I wanted to show my support-am I missin something?

Tony@ That One Paticular Harbor said...

Tap Tap yes we are here and very glad to know you are back. Now promise never to leave again woman.

Suzann @ The Olive Cottage said...

Yes! She's baaaaaaack. I'm happy dancing in my seat. I have missed ya girlie. I am so excited you popped up in my reader today. woo-hoo!!!! Love ya, glad you're back, sending you big huge fun hugs through cyber space.

Mariah said...

Well, hi de ho...

You're back!!!

You met up with Jill?? I thought since you vanished that you were not having your shing ding. I missed out :( Glad to see you are back and being un-domestic.

Just find a balance, you can do both

Desiree said...

OH I am glad you're back!! I've been taking about a 3 month hiatus from blogggy things where I packed, moved my family, bought a house, moved into said house, and we've been renovating. Ha. Beautiful 70 year old work-your-ass-off house. I love it!

Popped in to check out my blogger list tonight and was THRILLED to see yours pop up! WB!

JB said...

Really? You have been gone. Seriously, I fell out of my chair when I saw your post in my google reader! Welcome back.

lani said...

Welcome home now dont stay gone so long again...see you at the bar...

dana said...

Well son-of-a-bitch! you're back after giving all of us the grand "fuck you" and you STILL have more readers than I do!!! And I never left. I never abandoned anyone.

Maybe I'll try it and see what happens. I'll come back in six months and no one will be there.

psssst: I'm living in Florida now. But do you care? Noooooooooooo.

Dawn said...

Hi Jill! It's nice to meet you. I'm Dawn! LOL!

I'm so jealous you and Deb got together. I was truly hoping I'd be able to come too. I ended up with a severe case of hives. Yuck!

I can't believe you didn't post a picture of the two of you!

♥Trina♥ said...

Hey!!!! I have missed you and your posts! Glad to see you back. :)

♥georgie♥ said...

just checkin on ya...hope all is well

Scary Mommy said...

You're BACK?????? And you didn't visit me?? Wah!! It's so good to see you again. I just hated that you went poof!!

Kritta22 said...

Oh how I've missed you. glad you are back!
I'm so glad you had a great weekend too! Pictures?