Sunday, October 25, 2009

Pat Me On The Back- Hurry!!!

Work all week where you are surrounded by people who's average age is 81, then spend the weekend with college kids and try to figure where you fit in.

We celebrated Homecoming at the Nursing Home this week.
Crowned Homecoming King and Queen
Played football
Tail gated
Drank near-beer (O'Dool's).

(Sorry no pix from the nursing home...ya know, legal issues about permission and blah blah blah. College kids are dumb and don't care if their picture is out there.)

We celebrated Homecoming at my son's college this weekend.
Crowned Homecoming King and Queen
Played football
Tail gated
Drank REAL beer.

The DIFFERENCE between the crowds:
60 year age span
Perkier boobs.

Catatonic stares
Excessive urination

I am proud to say:
The wheelchair races at the NH were uneventful, even though I was stuck having to push the heaviest ones and feared, if they put their feet down to stop at the finish line, my fat ass would be catapulted over their heads. Not one resident was dumped out, despite the idle threat I made to one. I really was just kidding........ Really....what????!!!!

I am even MORE proud to say:
I did not inflict any bodily injury to my son's ex who decided to show up for the party. I was even somewhat polite, not ending any sentence I said to her with the words "slut" or "whore".
I really am proud of myself.

So, all in all, this week was very successful for me. I did not lose my nursing license due to the fact no harm was done to people under my care. Nor did I go to jail for assault over the weekend. Basically, seven straight days of good clean fun. (Look----I am only inches from the "ex" that broke my baby's heart AND tried to pick a brawl with his older sister. She is an idiot, BTW.)

I am now looking forward to next week. We have a Halloween carnival on Friday where small children will attack us for candy and prizes at the NH, as well as costume party on Sat. at the local hang out. (Deb, it starts at eight. Be there or be square.)

Thank goodness I will be in disguise for both events. I can only contain myself for so long.


shutter girl said...

The cool think about you, Jillie is that you fit in both places!!!


Debz said...

I got kids to take trick or treatin bitch. But thanks for rubbing it in that I'll be missing all that fun. Gah! Why do I love you?!?!

Julie D said...

Good job on controlling your impulses both places, in the midst of a "past" and "future" moment. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Bravo to you...sounds like a lot of fun...

midlife slices said...

Local hangout? If that's at the nursing home, you need to start hanging out in other places!!

Justine said...

Okay, how do senior citizens play football? And don't you have any pictures to share? Come on Jill, get back into the swing of things here!

Hmmm... disguise? What will you be?

justine :o )

Beth said...

I can't imagine how I will take the first girl who breaks my boy's heart. I don't think it will be good.

Sounds like fun was had at both venues.

Tiffany said...

Good job controlling that mouth of yours. It must have been hard.

And answer truthfully, you wanted to be that NH Homecoming Queen didn't you?

Ginger said...

I am patting you on the back, Jill. Great job. So proud of you for not kicking the son's ex to the curb. I would have. lol.

Michele said...

Oh how I've missed you. I've kinda been MIA too lately...mainly cuz IT'S SO FRICKIN BUSY AT WORK...and they actually want me to do that four letter!

Next time you and Deb have a party...I'm guys have all the fun...........


Deb said...

okay, first of all, you look gorgeous! i have really missed you!

second, i need to go ahead and make a reservation at your nursing home for when i am an old geezer... it sounds like a hoot.

third, you didn't even pull her hair "on accident"?? i am a little disappointed.

Tenakim said...

that looks so fun and you and your son look so cute and I love that you are trash talking your son's ex on your blog and thatyou go party with him- YOU ARE THE COOLEST MOM eveh! Don't tell my son!

Unknown said...

I am proud of the self control you showed by not ending your sentences with the word slut or whore...tooo funny

I hope we get to see pics of your costumes

wanted to let you know we sent out your SSS exchange partners name via email, can you please confirm you received it by replying to that email, thanks so much

NucMEd is Hot said...

I am in awe of your epic control. Congratulations on not being thrown in the wheelchair race, again duly impressed!

Unknown said...

Hey girlie hope your doing good and survived halloween...we sent you your SSS exchange partners name can you let us know that did receive acts up sometimes and we had a few people that we sent to that didnt receive the let me know when ya get time

nikkicrumpet said...

Your amazing self control in not accidentally hurting someone is a true thing of beauty. You are a rock! I MISS YOU!

Kritta22 said...

I love that they had more things similiar than not. good times!

Maria said...

That's funny about the ex. I am sure your son is proud of you too!
Love your blog!!

Linda S said...

Hey! it's good to "see" you again, you don't skip a beat do you?

Kristen H said...

Hey, Missed you! glad you are back!

TentCamper said...

Great post!!!!! I can't wait till all my kids are off and in college...first of six goes next fall. Not that I want them gone...but it IS a fun age and some great experiences are had by all.

That Janie Girl said...

I didn't get to go.


BTW, my hair looks like shit. Wanna makea datea?

prashant said...

I'll be missing all that fun. Gah! Why do I love you?!?!

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