Friday, March 27, 2009

Employer Benefits

As an employer, I go through many resumes. Below is one I wish for:


Resimay
To hoom it mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,Pepole really seam to respondto me well. Certain men and all the ladies.I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
BRYANPS :
Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.



My response:
Dear Bryan,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check. See you Monday.

P.S. Do you herd goats?

50 comments:

Desiree said...

ROTFL... Yumm....

my7kids said...

Hey, he could dust filing cabinets and change lightbulbs...

Or like Agador, just sweep the pool...

Nikki

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

I wanna soma that! See you Monday!

Robin Costello (Delswife) said...

Love it! Can you hire him and just keep posting pictures? Please?

Ronda's Rants said...

You crack me up...Enjoy your weekend!

NucMEd is Hot said...

Thank you sooooo much for that!

Soxy Deb said...

Any man (hell or woman) with a goody trail like that, is A-OK in my book. Whadda ya say we open an office so we can share him? I'll even take sloppy seconds in his case.

Rhonda said...

Yup. I'd hire him too! lol

Megryansmom said...

As long as he doesn't talk either, he might work out.

Halftime Lessons said...

In my defense, I had lost my towel and was in the middle of doing curls. Affects my typing.

By the way, the law requires that I notify you that I am required to stay away from goats or any other 4 legged animal. I cant get into it further.

See you Monday.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

All he'd have to do for me is sit in my lap.

Swirl Girl said...

You could just keep him around to reach for high up things on shelves and stuff.

What's This About? said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs Cooper said...

He can just stand there and do that all day :)

Wunderwoman said...

Hubba Hubba! Why can't we grow them here like that?

Mrs Parks said...

If he herds donkeys I have a weekend position for him!

Ginger said...

Holy Crap!!!! LOL

Jill said...

Wouldn't you just love to watch him chase some goats??? Lol.. OOh Baby!

Kim said...

Yummy. Don't talk, baby, just let mama watch you type.

Kritta22 said...

Yum!

Nicole said...

Please remind him that is his uniform!!! No shirts required (or anything else if he is comfortable with that). Mmmmm Mmmmm good.

The Mom Jen said...

YUM, Yum. Hired, I don't care for what.

Joanie M said...

Oh damn! Now I'm drooling!

Linda S said...

Dang, you got your pool boy!

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

HIRED!!!!!!!! HIRED DAMMIT!!!!!!!!! Bring him on!

And LOL about the goats.

Justine :o )

h2ofossil said...

So this is the new quality assurance assistant that you promised.....I love you!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

I'm always looking for some good office decor.

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL............YOU SLUTTY SLUT SLUT!

niartist said...

Oh, I'd hire him too! In a heartbeat ... though I'm not sure Scott would be so happy.

dana said...

HIRED!

Wheezer said...

Oooh...does he mow the grass? Do you need another assistant?

Julie said...

Happy Saturday! I'm here trying to get caught up on my blog reading....

If you need me to train Brian, I can be on a plane in an hour. I'm just sayin. I'd do that for you, as I know you are a busy woman...

Annie said...

You are a generous employer. I would insist on a ful body shot before putting in my offer.
Come see me this week.....new stuff!

♥georgie♥ said...

LMFAO!!!! omgosh does he have any friends? I cant spell either

Eudae-Mamia said...

Dirty thoughts.

Dirty, dirty thoughts.

Dawn said...

Yowsers!!!!

Michelle said...

Giddy UP Cowboy!!!!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

That's what's called, "eye candy".

Kristen Hermanny said...

I am going to invent a company, just to hire him for myself!!!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Oh yeah...he's totally hired...

bj said...

Hahaha....I love it, Jill...
xo bj

Barb said...

Oh, I'm looking for a new pool boy ~ he wouldn't even have to type. Wonder if he makes a good Mohito?

Deb said...

Mmmm...yum yum yummy. Bet he is good at the "other duties as assigned" part of a job description.

tamilyn said...

If Brawn, um, I mean Brian doesn't fill your expectations, you can send him to MN. I have very low expectations........

Scary Mommy said...

Oh, good God. That chest. I would really like to get my hands on that!

h2ofossil said...

This is my longevity bonus, yes?

Bee and Rose said...

I keep hearing Marvin Gaye's song "Let's Get It On" playing in the background over here....

Yep, HIRED!

Sara's Sweet Surprise said...

JOB DUTIES...Any and everything that requires heavy lifting,(flexing), bending, (flexing)....


Sweet Wishes,
Sara

Karyn said...

Seriously, how do people deny the existance of God? There is NO way cellular randomness could come up with this guy on its own!

binks said...

How the hell did I miss this?
Can I come intern for you for the summer? I'll check all his spelling and grammer (as well as a few other choice assets)