Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Pretend You Are Me

Let's play-like you are me.


To be a Home Health RN JUST.LIKE.ME here in BFE, you must be willing to:

Go to homes with the concept you are going to give incredible care to your homebound patients.

Travel the backroads to GET to some of those homes WAY OUT in the country.

Depend on your navigation system to get you lost OVER and OVER and hear "Recalculating" about 28 times in a 5 mile stretch.

Arrive at your first home to find the caregiver outside motioning in panic.

Jump out with bag in hand ready to save the day.

Realize caregiver is headed BEHIND the house and wonder WTH is my bedbound patient doing BEHIND the house...

Hear your patient's caregiver say, "I need you to help me round up these kids."

Be prepared to talk in your authoratative voice to do said "rounding" for apparent disruptive "kids".

Realize it is THESE kind of kids, not the two-legged kind.

Get more exercise in 5 minutes than you have had in months, waving your arms and doing some football moves.

Go to your NEXT patient's house in town and breathe a sigh of relief you will not have any further goat-herding to do that day.

Enter the house to see this:


Realize you must have been absent on the day you were instructed in "livestock care" in nursing school.

Rethink this whole nursing career thing...

I know you are green with envy. Or maybe that's baby chick poop...

38 comments:

Halftime Lessons said...

Dont you worry sweetie...Obama's gonna fix healthcare, no sweat.

And I assume that means doing away with all the animals that would prevent good healthcare.

That one goat had a cute ass.

Um...sorry.

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Hmmmm...

Animals? Nurses?

Ah - never mind! LOL

Deb said...

your new title:
jill, the livestock whisperer.

Soxy Deb said...

With the way my days have been going, I would switch with you in a heartbeat. Playing with goats and chicks sounds REALLY nice...

Annie said...

They ARE cute kids.....

Kristen Hermanny said...

whewww~
It has got to be better than being the night supervisor of the super uneducated with illegitimate children from at least 3 different fathers and trying to get them to do print finishing and not go out for their 10th cigarette break of the night. At least one fight a night. And all the Drama of Young and the Breastless.

But hey, no, I don't envy you. Not one bit.

Yaya said...

Hahahahahaha!

Eudae-Mamia said...

There is nothing more aggravating than hearing that beeyotch say "re-cal-cu-lating."

Mine actually heaves a heavy sigh before saying it.

Well, rounding up goats when on a home health run might be a wee bit more aggravating.

Hang in there sista - Obama is on the way!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Yikes!

tamilyn said...

You didn't deliver any calves or anything did you?

Mrs Parks said...

How funny!!
Ya gotta love town folk raising chicks in the tub.
They were in the tub right?

Bee and Rose said...

Are you sure you don't work for Dr. Doolittle????

The Mom Jen said...

I'd so rather sponge bathe the chick and the kid!

Coloradolady said...

That is too funny. I can just imagine your patients waiting for you to arrive to save the day!

♥georgie♥ said...

now see that is exactly why I dont refer to my beanies as kids...peeps could get the wrong idea and think i birthed some billy goats....

I say ask your sis for advice on livestock-shes got that area covered!

Joanie said...

You must have missed the class on animal husbandry.

LadyFi said...

Hilarious! Just think what a worthwhile job you've got.. and lots of free chicken poop included!

Michele said...

Oh I'm so jealous of your job...NOT! Except for the little chicks...they're cute! Cute goats too!

Hugz,
Michele

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! OMG, you really had to run after baby goats? They're so damn cute though! So are the chicks, if you forget about the chick poop.

Justine :o )

Swirl Girl said...

better yet-
move to a city.

h2ofossil said...

God, girl....you know how to make me giggle!

I feel your pain!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Do take goats and chicks are payments?

Tiffany said...

Are you in MY neck of the woods? LOL

Jill said...

OmG! What can I say... I am lmao right now and I probably shouldn't be. I am just picturing the whole kid round up going on with you in scrubs.. Oh lordy... like you don't have enough going on.. :)

Deb said...

Do you keep extra scrubs in the car in case you have a run in with animal poop?

Auds at Barking Mad said...

My daughter's BFF wants, in the worst way, to become a home healthcare nurse. She also happens to be deathly afraid of farm animals, especially goats and cows. I think this is going to be required reading for her. A'yup!

Scary Mommy said...

Your life is seriously made to be a sitcom, LOL!

Ginger said...

Ahhh how sweet they are...you will have to go back in 5 months for the eggs.
I just got chicks yesterday too.
So apparently your bed bound patient is improving??
Ginger

Ronda's Rants said...

Seriously ...Are you on cable?
Too funny!

Tulsi said...

I will have to forewarn my daughter!! These are the sweetest pics. As my kids grow up, I wouldn't mind me a set of these kids, if I didn't want shrubbery.

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL I've heard that housebound people can be animals...but sheeesh. At least in a few years they'll make a tasty supper!

dana said...

OK. You're NOT serious, right? Maybe you could earn some extra cash by going into veterinarian services too?

binks said...

That is what happens when you live in BFE or BFT.

The Rule Maker said...

You can come help herd my kids anytime.

careysue said...

I forgot how funny you were!! Not really.

Too funny, wish I could of been there! :)

h2ofossil said...

You have to come visit my facebook page! I posted the link to his post and left you a message there.......

Luv Ya!

texasholly said...

So funny.

I used to do home health. I am too whimpy to handle the state of most patient's dirty homes...some places the houses were worse than barns which might or might not be missing a goat...or two.

Elaine A. said...

Thank God I'm a city girl!