Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tuesday's Tribute

Today I pay tribute to my husband.

When he is well.

As we speak, he is on the couch in a fetal position, stealing my "spot" on the couch, moaning because he has been afflicted with the stomach virus. The same stomach virus that I had yesterday and received NO help with anything. But this is not about me and my amazing iron stomach.
I could feed my husband anything and he would eat it and say how good it is and thank me for cooking. When he is well.

Yesterday I served him Noodle Soup (no chicken) and crackers. He says, "Are these the new crackers I bought Saturday?"
"No, precious. We still had this unopened package left from Christmas."
"I want the new ones. These taste stale."
"Okay, precious. Let me open the new box for you and get some."
"Can you get a different spoon? This one's a little large."
"Okay, precious. A smaller spoon is on it's way."
"Did you get Berry flavored gatorade?"
"Yes, of course, precious."
"Can I have some ice?"
"Any particular number of ice cubes, precious?"
Then he dribbled some Noodle Soup on my blanket.
THAT made me close my eyes and breathe deeply.

When he is well, he is wonderful. When he is sick, not so much.

I will at this point do anything to get him back to normal. A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

I like him so much more when he is not whiney. That is MY job.

45 comments:

Scary Mommy said...

Men are so fucking impossible when they are sick. I want to kill mine when he has a freaking cold-- you'd think he was dying, it's pathetic!!

Megryansmom said...

Husbands suck! Mine is well, for now, until I beat the livin bejezus outta him. Anywho, he is well, however, this week, he must start work at 6 am instead of 9:30am. Can you feel my pain?

binks said...

What is up with men, that a little puking all night turns them into 5 year olds?

♥georgie♥ said...

i heard the voice of the lil creature from lord of rings every time you said 'precious'

Hope you get all the sickness out of the house soon

Deb said...

oh dear... he took your SPOT?? unacceptable, even when ill. can you drag his carcass up to the bed?

i hope he feels better soon. not for his sake, but for yours.

but i guess even awesome hubbys deserve to be pathetic, self-indulgent whiners every once in a while (as long as it doesn't conflict with OUR needs)

Tenakim said...

I have been cleaning up puke for 2 days and all I hear is "I have a stomach ache too" from him!!! REALLY? DO YA? I GIVE A SHIT! GET OVER IT!

Bitter much?

Chris said...

Hope Precious is feeling much better and you just crack me up, That's why I have you on my Blog List. I love your sense of humor.

Hugs,
Chris

Ronda's Rants said...

I checked to make sure my precious was still here...it sounded like he was at your house!
God be with you!

Farrago said...

Jill, do you have another font you could use for your blog? Could you use that one, please? Also, could you use the spell-check more often? And this post was too short. Could you make it longer? But not as long as all the other ones...they're too long....

Eudea-Mamia said...

Don't shoot him. After all, he's just a man.

Call me if you want to swap - the Oldest is home sick today.

Halftime Lessons said...

LMAO

Jilly, your restraint is unparalleled.

But all the same, You may want to lock yourself in a room somewhere...you know, for his safety.

Hilarious....

Diva Ma said...

Isn't it amazing how we are expected to be SuperWoman all the time but when they get so much as a sore throat OH MY GOSH!!!

Deb said...

You should have brought him a baby food spoon!!!

Hoping he feels better so you can climb down from the ledge.

Tiffany said...

My hubby is a pansy ass when he's sick. I swear he's worse than my 5 year old.

Nicole said...

We are suffering with the same shit. Thank goodness my hubby was bearable this time. I didn't have to wait on him once! Usually I want to hand him his gun and say if you dont use this I will :)

sandi said...

I feel you girl! I hate sick kids, but sick men are ten times worse!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I would rather have all 3 of my kids sick at the same time than my hubby. I feel your pain!

Soxy Deb said...

I was expecting to hear that you got him cubed ice and he want4ed crushed. Precious needs a colonoscopy.

Julie said...

Poor hubby. He's just as precious as most of them are!!!!

ann said...

OH HONEY.I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.MEN ARE SUCH BABIES WHEN THEY'RE SICK.MINE WAS JUST SICK AND IF HE HADN'T GOTTEN WELL QUICK I WOULD'VE KILLED HIM.HA...ANN

Dee said...

The world does not stop when we get sick, why must it for them.

I sure hope you better today.

Sheri and George said...

Why is it that men become 2 yearsold again whne they are sick? They are the biggest babies in the world, whining and crying.
Women on the other hand, drag their ass out of bed, do the laundry, make dinner, get the kids off to school and clean the house all the while puking in a bucket and not once complaining because no one listens.

Debbie said...

Aren't all men like that? Pitiful creatures, really.

Annie said...

God help a sick man. The world ends with a cold at my house, too.

Janie said...

That sounds as bad as the Man Cold.

Look for it on YouTube.

So. Are we off for tonight?

Mary Moore said...

OMG, I know this scenario all too well.

lani said...

How funny and so typical.....Precious how do you spell that "JackA@%#$%#" Great share ...Lani

Swirl Girl said...

Poor baby....NOT!
Try pushing a baby out of your vagina - then cry to me about a little diarhea!

The Mom said...

SO precious!...so precious you just want to grab a pillow and tuck it under their head and not over their face!

the RaMbLeR said...

ROFL...sorry, but it makes me feel a little better knowing that my hubby is not the only big cry baby when he is sick.

Hope he feels better soon, for your sake. LOL

Brenda Jean said...

Men are not fun when they are sick. They are big babies, worse than the kids. WE however, are not allowed whiney, sick days. What is up with that?

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

My sympathies to you, JJBB! My Boo was under the weather with tummy troubles too but he went to sleep and didn't wake up in the middle of the night. I was so thanking God. When men get sick, their illness is like the plague.

Hang in there!!

Ginger said...

Jill, I feel your pain. I just went through this a couple of weeks ago. Thankgoodness, it's just a bad memory now. There is light at the end of the tunnel, hang in there!!!

Jennifer Suarez said...

Men are HUGE babies when it comes to getting sick. My husband pulls the same crap... curled up in the fetal position insisting:

"This is it! This is the one that is gonna kill me! I'm dying, I'm telling you...*MOAN*"

Me: Yeah... um honey, could you try to die quieter please? I'm trying to watch Oprah.

Brenda said...

Seriously, you are a SAINT! We went through the same thing at our house a couple of weeks ago. Somehow I mangaed to puke, take care of 2 kids & make dinner while my husband had to lay in bed for 3 days!

Jenni Jiggety said...

You have my sympathies, Jill...

I swear there is nothing more annoying than a sick man!

Wheezer said...

Why are they such babies? It is like they are the first person to ever get whatever it is they have and it is the absolute worst that it could ever be! Try pushing a bowling ball through garden hose and get back to me!

NucMEd is Hot said...

I'm sure you know that men are the worst patients. I've never had a woman fall out of my chair when getting an IV but I can't count the number of men.

They are fabulous, but goodness are they whiny when ill.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Jill! I saw your comment on Julie's site--you have to check out my blog post from last Saturday about how much I freakin' HATE birds.

Love your blog--you have a new reader, all because of those damn birds.

Mariah said...

Men are so whiney when they are sick

Buddha's Place said...

Poor, poor jjbb and her whiney hubby...

Janie said...

Girlfriend! Thanks for driving all that way to meet me! I had a blast...

Did we eat? Just teasing.

nikkicrumpet said...

I swear men are the biggest freaking babies when they're sick!! Put a couple 4 sleeping pills in his soup...that will keep him out of your hair lol

Desiree said...

ROTFL! He sounds JUST like my Dad! I lucked out in that my hubby, for NOW anyway, doesn't whine about being sick...he's better than me at it, LoL!

my7kids said...

When we both get sick, I get to get up and do my normal stuff, and he gets to lay in bed for 5 days in a flannel shirt and knitted bootees, with his hair looking like something out of an old horror movie.

Several of the times we had babies, I had the kid and then called HIM in sick to work. No joke.

Nikki
jesus_iscomin at yahoo dot com
my7kids.etsy.com
HeartFeltFun.etsy.com
mysevenkids.blogspot.com: My Thoughts about Life, Yarn, Kids, and Other Stuff