Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why Do I Even Try?

I burned soup.

How in the hell can someone burn soup?

I made chili Monday because, well, it was chilly outside. And since I did NOTHING but sit at my computer after I did wound care on ONE patient on Tuesday, I thought I would make something even warmer and yummier than Monday night.

So I scoured my pantry and found taco seasoning, a can of corn, a can of ranch-style beans, and a can of green chillies. I added the leftover chili meat and 17 gallons(approx) of water, and turned on the fire. (That's chef lingo: fire.)

Then I sat down with my computer. Soon the room was filled with the wonderful aroma of spicy tortilla soup. I could hear the bubbling of the soup simmering on the stove and I inwardly patted myself on the back for being so dern domestic. Soon the botched cinnamon rolls would be a distant memory. Soon I would be hailed as Domestic Goddess Extraordinaire and have my own cooking show. What would I wear? How should I do my hair?

Then the sound of simmering got louder and louder, reminding me that indeed my family would be so impressed to walk into the house with supper ready to be consumed. Then it hit me. You probably shouldn't hear your soup cooking.

Upon closer inspection, which required me getting off my laurels, I see meat in the pan. So with cat-like reflexes, I filled the pan with water and stirred.

And sort of scraped a little.

And up floated little black pieces that I could only assume were the charred remains of the chili that had the unfortunate luck of being on the BOTTOM.

What would Paula do in this situation? Martha and Rachel would fix this how?

So I did what every good connoisseur of fine delicacies would do.

I told the family we were eating Blackened Tortilla Soup. Sold at only the finest restaurants for $75 a bowl. Cheese and Chips sold separately.

62 comments:

tardevil said...

Sounds smart to me. I've burnt soup before too...not a lot of fun!

Eudea-Mamia said...

LOL. I'm sure it was fab-u-lous.

All of a sudden I'm very hungry for breakfast.

Oh, and I've never forgotten about something on the stove while blogging.

Oh yeah, only those pacifiers I was sterilizing. Yum, burnt rubber.

Rhonda said...

I love tortilla soup!! I totally thought I invented it the first time I made it, because I was actually making hamburger soup but through in some left over taco meat. Then I saw it in someone's cookbook and was totally angry that somehow this stranger stole my creation! lol Oh. My. Stars! Good, good stuff!

So how did the cajun dish go over anyway? You didn't tell us that part!

Vodka Mom said...

I thought I was the only one who could burn soup. I guess that's another "charm" we have in common.

Julie said...

Oh boy. When I come to your house, is it okay if I do the cooking?

Soxy Deb said...

I set a dozen eggs on the stove to boil one morning. I love me some egg salad sandwiches. I sat at the computer (do we see a common denominator?) and 40 minutes later - YES 40 MINUTES LATER - smelled something not quite right. No water left in the pan and the eggs shells were actually BLACK (they were white when I started) and stuck to the pan. I had to throw the pan away it was so bad.
And then I was left hungry, scared and alone.....sad right?

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAO....awwwww Jill yep when we are in town I will gladly do all the cooking...well except for baking I dont bake ;-)

Scary Mommy said...

LOL @ Blackened soup!! I am incapable of making boxed cake, so I get it. It's ridiculous!

NucMEd is Hot said...

You made me terribly hungery until the little black floating part started. I would like the recipe to whatever you were trying to make, it sounds amazing!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

LOL! Better luck next time!

Deb said...

no, i can honestly say that i have never burned soup. i have, however, burned hard boiled eggs. yep, it's true.

Wheezer said...

That's thinking on your seat!!!

Wheezer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marilyn said...

Blackend!
I'm going to remember and use that term.
I have never had tortilla soup, I think I may just look up the recipe and have it tonight : )

Tenakim said...

nice save!

Ronda's Rants said...

Very nice save!

Ronda's Rants said...

Wow great minds think alike...I didn't see her comment first!

Cynthia said...

Way to spin doctor the dinner! If it makes you feel any better, I've burned soup too.

Chris said...

OMG, your wit is amazing. Now, I do have a solution for stop burning dinner, cause I do this a lot. "STOP BLOGGING WHILE COOKING"
I can't even remember all the stuff I've burned, the last being chili.My Dh is not amused. :)He thinks this is one of my biggest waste of time anyway. OH Well :)

Hugs,
Chris

The Mom said...

You're supposed to say, I meant to make black floaty-things soup! LOL

Annie said...

And did they eat it?Success!

Debbie said...

Absolutely! Blackened soup is all the rage now. I've made it myself a few times.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I once burned spagetti noodles. Cooking & multi-tasking (or bogging) do not mix!

I've also burnt chili & cookies, just in the past year!

Kritta22 said...

I've burnt tomato soup from a can before. Probably 20 times. give or take 100. It's tough to get the grilled cheese and soup timing just right. Usually one or both gets burnt.
My husband expects it.

Nicole said...

I burned Green chili. Not good at all! My family looked at my like I was crazy for making them eat it. Happens to the best of us :)

AFF said...

Sounds like you made some damn fine burned soup, dear. I hope they appreciated all you had to do to get it that way!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

I tried to serve blackened bread today


Didn't cut it.

Justine said...

OMG, step away from the kitchen! Do you hear me? You are not fit to turn on the stove if you burn all the liquid out of your soup. All 17 gallons of it dammit! ROFLMAO!

Justine :o )

Jennifer Suarez said...

I realize it's a little too late now... but NEXT TIME, if you do burn soup (or stew, or sauce, or anything similar) the best thing to do is this:
1) Do NOT scrape up the burnt part (This is the MOST important part)
2) Immediatly turn down the heat
3) Grab a brand new sauce pan
4) Pour the soup into the new pan leaving the burnt part behind.

This way all the burnt crap stays in the old pan and you can completely save dinner. No one will ever know you burnt it.

TexasRed said...

Hee... was it a hit with the fam?

Lisa L said...

I like Jennifer Suarez's advice! And not to go all 'Martha' on you, but, ahem, speaking from experience...this is how you clean a charred pan...(it can't be aluminum though)...Rinse burned pan out as best you can, then pour a cup or two of straight amonia in. Put pan in tightly sealed bag (grocery bag, garbage bag etc) and let sit for 24 hours. Open up bag (by the way, amonia stinks so be careful with the fumes)...Then you rinse out the pan and the burned crap magically comes off with only a slight amount of scrubbing. Its a freakin miracle :) Oh..I usually forget that the pan is sitting out in the garage, so its not until a few days later that I get around to cleaning it. I'm so 'Martha' that way :)

Swirl Girl said...

I think it sounds rather tasty.

for future reference - simmer, don't boil.

...yeah, I'm a smart-ass.

Jenni Jiggety said...

This is why I avoid cooking at all costs. I can't take the disappointment when I screw it up!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I can't burn anything because when it is my turn to cook I say choose a restaurant :)

Good save though I hope they liked it!

Ginger said...

I can't tell you how many times I've burned something, because I am on the computer. Oops...call pizza hut. lol.

nonna said...

hell, i do that shit all the time! if i feel it starting to stick, i just stir shallower and let that bottom layer "season" the rest of the chili heheh

of course, turning the heat waaay down and constantly stirring would prevent this whole situation, but when would we blog??

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Did the family eat it? Knowing mine, they would've said, "There's black stuff floating in the soup! I'm not eating that!" But, you tried. Next time, do the crockpot method. Much easier and less likely to burn!

Me said...

You nut ball...

Burned soup is the new hype around here, but then again I live in LA, anything goes

Dawn said...

hahahahahaa!! I'm going to use that line next time. Because I KNOW there WILL be a next time.

Aria said...

That was brilliant! Blackened Tortilla Soup ~ I have blackened hamburgers (and by hamburgers, I mean everything that I cook on the stove top) regularly.

HappyHourSue said...

Nicely played. I can't count how many times I've said "it's SUPPOSED to look like that." It's all in the conviction of your voice. Family management 101.


p.s your angel story gave me chills.

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL it is soooo good to know that there IS a bigger kitchen dork than me!!!!

Tiffany said...

Sadly I too have burned the bottom of soup. Homeade soup! That my mom made and sent to me. hehe Yea I suck.

amelia bedelia said...

heeheehee. dumbo.

Kritta22 said...

i have your questions up today! Come check em out.

Mary Moore said...

Yo!! I've finally published my interview post!! You can see it here! Thanks again!

http://marymoores.blogspot.com/2009/01/holy-mackerel-inquiry.html

Desiree said...

ROTFLOL! I love it! Glad I'm not the only one having those days!!

countrygirl3031 said...

LMAO Jill...sounds like a plan to me!

Hugz,
Michele

TattooedMinivanMom said...

That's marketing 101 baby.

Goo yob!

TexasRed said...

Just tagged you for a meme over on my page.

Outnumbered2to1 said...

I LOVE you.

collinskid said...

Now that is what I call "thinking on your feet", sell, sell, sell. I'm sure they all realised what a great deal they were getting by you making this delicious, all the rage, high dollar soup for them.

♥georgie♥ said...

just stoppin by to check on you.....you missed by blogoversary!!!!! dammit I hope all is well and no elderly person has you hog tied!

AirmanMom said...

I feel your pain. My kids still joke that our dinner bell was the smoke alarm! They are grown and on their own...guess who does not cook anymore????

~AM

imjacobsmom said...

You never told us if they ate it.....if so - What a great idea!

Sabrae Carter said...

One of the reasons I don't make homemade soup! LOL!!!! Only soup I make comes out of a can and into the microwave! lol

binks said...

After my whole life of consuming "blackened" whatever (my mother was way before her time) I've decided to never eat another botched anything. (i rather unfortunately got the cooking gene from my mother). When I burn dinner to a crisp, it is out to dinner we go. Can someone please invent a remote control for the stove so that I don't have to run downstairs to turn it off when I smell it burning?

*Just Jen* said...

I gave you an award today at my blog!

Eudea-Mamia said...

I'm missing you. Sniff.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I just burned pita chips watching the Super Bowl. And my husband burned jello once. You are not alone. I feel your pain.

Elaine A. said...

Excellent cover!

Mrs4444 said...

I did that with a Southwest turkey soup last year. People said they loved the "smokey" flavor. I thought it was horrible.