Monday, February 2, 2009

It's A Smorgasboard of Worthless Crap

The last four days have been crazy busy and today seems no different. So, to clean sweep my disorganized brain, I will give you a buffet of small tidbits to chew on until I can actually have a complete thought.

The Super Bowl was great. Commercials as a whole, not so much. My very favorite was careerbuilders.com with the "If you hate going to work everyday, and your co-workers don't respect you, you wish you were somewhere else, you cry constantly, you daydream of punching small animals, and you sit next to this guy, it's probably time." The lady behind the wheel screaming was modeled after me. I do that almost every morning.

I saw a lady pull up beside me at a red light with, and I SWEAR this is not a lie, had 16 stuffed animals lined up on her dashboard. One word: WHY

Michael Phelps smokes pot. Maybe I should be more disappointed. Maybe I should be shocked. But I am really neither. Proof that money cannot pay for good sense. Hey Michael, my 2 yr old grandson went as you for Halloween. You are a dumbass. He wore a too tight swim cap because he idolized you. He said your name as one word "MichaelPhelps". Can't you hire someone to make sure people aren't taking your picture while you act like you are a 23 year old party animal? Maybe by 2012 I will have forgiven you. Maybe.



We went to visit the boys this weekend. John David is the cook at this steak place where the filet mignon literally melts in your mouth. I ate until I literally couldn't move. I had to lean the seat back just so I could breathe for the ride home. Then Rick thought for the next 2 hours he would poke my belly to be funny. After the 2nd time, I told him if he ever wanted to have sex again, he better stop. I am guessing the sight of me laid up with my pants unzipped, listening to me moan every time we hit a bump, and saying 284 times, "Ohhh, I ate too much," was NOT a turn-on since he didn't quit. Sometimes I think a married a 15 year old.


I read The Shack on Thursday. If you haven't read it-READ IT! If you have, how did it affect you? It was undoubtedly the best book I have ever read. I plan to read it again when my husband is done with it. It is that good.


The stupid groundhog saw his shadow and Spring will be here late. I vote we do away with Phil and his predictions. My friends who are still buried in snow and ice need some good news. So to help them out, I put Andy in a hole and when he dug himself out, he didn't see his shadow. WHOO HOO!!!!!!!! Eat that, Punxsutawney Phil. You have been replaced.


44 comments:

Annie said...

SOmeone pay off Phil, already! Winter sucks!

Wear elastic next time, friend.

Mary Moore said...

Men will just never understand, will they...heavy sigh.

As for The Shack, who is the author? I haven't heard of it, but I'll read it.

Wunderwoman said...

Personally, I think they should just shoot Phil after dragging his sorry a$$ out of that hole, I HATE winter;)

Dropped by from Sounding Forth, I like you're blog, I'll be back...

Wheezer said...

MichaelPhelps lost a lot of fans yesterday...what a putz!

Tenakim said...

I wasn't a fan of Michael Phelps (I was disturbed by his uneusually long torso) but I do admire a person that can make a mistake and take resposibility for it... however, I can't say I wouldn't have been pissed off if one of my kids liked him! BTW- CUTE costume!

You married a 15 yr old- I married a 90 yr old- can we combine them and maybe get the approriate behavior from a man?

TexasRed said...

I have read The Shack. Let's talk about it b/c some people I read it with were really upset that God was portrayed as a woman.

http://texasredbooks.blogspot.com/2008/09/shack.html

Debbie said...

I was ticked at Michael Phelps. What an idiot. I hope he does lose some of his endorsements because otherwise, where is the lesson we can teach our kids from this?

Rhonda said...

Leon has started poking the fat and making the round comments too. Asshole.

Deb said...

Ok. Here is the plan. Next year you come to PA and we will take out Punxatawney Phil.

Deal?

J'Ollie Primitives said...

I liked the commercial with the moose head in the first office...and the moose butt in the office right behind office #1.

Greetings from the MooseButt Office.

Deb said...

so is it now groundDog day? i fully support this.

i want to read the shack but i am afraid it will make me too sad.

the thought of you with your pants unzipped, belly bulging while you moan in post-filet pain is a total turn on to me! rick better watch out.

well, and let's not forget mr. phelps already has a dui tucked under that speedo belt of his.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I think I'm about the only person that didn't LOVE the Shack. We read it for my book club.

♥georgie♥ said...

Mike does the SAME thing to me when I'm leaned back full with my pants unzipped, although I think he figures since my pants are undone and I'm breathing hard it means I'm hot for him.
Men are SO dumb

Phil can enter the wittness protection program and come here and live on the farm with Pearl.

Michelle said...

Michael Phelps probably lost millions! What a dork!

Eudea-Mamia said...

I still don't get that whole ground hog thing - the sun has to be out in order for him to see his shadow, correct?

So why wouldn't that mean an EARLY Spring? You know, cloudy = no shadow = dismal weather?

I was just a meteorology major for two years, what the heck do I know.

Stupid rodent.

I'm stinking with Andy - he's much cuter anywho.

P.S. Michael Phelps is a tool.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

#1 - I too am highly annoyed at Michael Phelps.
#2 - I will give him a small nanometer of forgiveness because at least he didn't try to deny it or say "I'm sorry if I hurt anyone" which always ticks me off because it sounds like "If I didn't hurt anyone, I'm not sorry"
#3 - Regarding Phil - we always say if he sees his shadow it's 6 more weeks of winter and if he doesn't, it's a month and a half.

Vodka Mom said...

That was damn funny.........

Ginger said...

I've been busy, haven't seen anything on Michael Phelps...what a idiot. I haven't heard about the Shack either...guess I have my head buried in the snow.
I love filet mignon too...it's the only steak I can guarantee will be tender!!!

Megryansmom said...

Death to Phil, long live Andy!

Megryansmom said...

LMAO at Deb and her assassination plot for Phil!

Swirl Girl said...

If Phelp's smokes pot - than I think it is worth a PSA that it isn't as bad as they make it out to be. Since he wasn't a Dorito eating, SuperBad watching lazy stoner and actually excelled at winning 8 medals...does pot make you a mush?? (snark).

and- has the dumb groundhog ever not seen is shadow?? Has spring ever come early?

Soxy Deb said...

And in a bizarre show of busy woamns solidarity, I read this with friggin lightening speed. Seriously, you should have heard me. It sounded like bzzbzzbbzb, haha, bxbzbbbzbzbzbbz. And done.

I hate being busy all the time. I miss my buddies. :(

Fragrant Liar said...

My favorite commercial was the one where everyone was going to the doctor to get their asses replaced because they'd laughed them off. The LMAO Clinic! Hysterical.

Sorry about Pux Phil. I think he's just screwing with you.

Jill said...

lmao!!!!!!!!!!! YOu're funny even when you think your boring! LOL!
Michael Phelps.. one word IDIOT!

Aria said...

All men are 15 year olds... And I say we shoot that little gopher SOB Phuk U Phil.

Ronda's Rants said...

I liked The Shack...I liked his imagery of the Trinity...I really until then have never thought much of my image of it!
His struggle for forgiving and his concept of heaven...Wow!
Typical groundhog...I mean really!

Justine said...

OmG, I'm cracking up. You put your dog in a hole! Heeheeheeeeeeeeee!

Yes Rick, ha ha, very funny! No sexy for you! (think Soup Nazi)

OMG, The Shack was sooooooooooooooooo amazing. Didn't it make you really think about your relationship with God in a totally different, more personal way? LOVED IT.

Justine :o )

Candid Carrie said...

1. The shack was anti-climatic. I read the ending first because that is how I roll. Even when it is about God, I read the ending first.

b. We are poor. We had ground hog soup during the football game last night.

fourth. There are plenty of pictures of me holding a bong and I've never been in the news.

Threeundertwo said...

Even when you think you have nothing to say, you are so entertaining.

Why do we have stupid Groundhog Day anyway?

Me said...

I'm with Annie, wear elastic.

The Shack huh? I'll go check it out

♥georgie♥ said...

I read the Shack and really enjoyed it...I want to re-read it as well...

So glad your back I have missed you!!!!!

I agree with Wheezer MP is a PUTZ!!!

♥georgie♥ said...

I read the Shack and really enjoyed it...I want to re-read it as well...

So glad your back I have missed you!!!!!

I agree with Wheezer MP is a PUTZ!!!

nikkicrumpet said...

ROFL.....crap...literally...I think I have the flu and laughing at you this hard is NOT a good idea. You suck when you're this funny and I'm sick!!!!!

Brenda said...

Seriously, with all the fame & constant media scutiny, you'd think MichaelPhelps (all one word:) ) would not be such a dumbass!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

I'm so with you on Phelps & Phil. I'm tempted to drive to PA just to go off on him. Also, that commercial was def the best. The glasses on the koala? Awesome.

Kritta22 said...

Thanks for not seeing your shadow, fluffy dog! Screw Phil. He needs to be shot. Maybe he is just too old to tell the difference between a shadow and tail.
I haven't read the Shack but will now.

MP-I wanna punch him. I thought he was Mormon. Stupid head.

I agree with Annie, elastic is always good!

I married a 19 year old. He still asks 15. LOL

Tiffany said...

Did you see Phil's picture? I swear his eyes were gonna bug out of his head.

And that grandson of yours is such a cute pothead.

Dawn said...

You are making me really want a good steak now. That sounds so good!

I've made it about 3/4 of the way through The Shack. I've not been impressed. I just can't seem to make myself finish it. But, I will. :) It does cause you to question a lot of things.

I hated to hear that Phelps did that. It's sad really. But, he is held to such high standards that it has got to be hard to live up to them.

I hope he can redeem himself.

Jenni Jiggety said...

I loved the lady banging the steering wheel! And The Shack is on my BIG LIST of books to read!

I think I have a post coming about Mr. Phelps...

Buddha's Place said...

Yeah I am going with Phil's prediction...OR! I am moving to Texas.

Elaine A. said...

I totally knew M.P. was smokin' the doobies. I mean really, C'mon, he can do whatever he wants, right? ; )

Smores for Breakfast said...

That's how I feel lately about everything...worthless crap. I mean come on michael phelps, its so cold outside,i'm dissapointed with the groundhog, I could care less about celebrities having babies, and the news is so depressing i can't even watch!

on the other hand, hearing of a new good book makes me psyched up. i'm gonna go pick up the shack today! Thanks!

And let me tell you, for a little boy to wear a swim cap is impressive! what a sweetie!

Brenda Jean said...

Someone needs to slap Michael up side the head and smash his bong. What the hell was he thinking? Oh, maybe HIS swim cap was too tight, ya think?

Mrs4444 said...

This would have been a perfect Friday Fragments post; don't be afraid to join me tomorrow!

I loved that Career Builder commercial, too. We laughed out loud (a lot).

That Michael Phelps thing-What a flipping idiot!

Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll put it at the top of my ever-growing stack!