Monday, February 9, 2009

Today is busy with lots of loose ends to tie up. First and foremost, we celebrated with Tuesday Whitt's family on Saturday and went on a virtual "wagie ride" joining Em and Lee and countless others.

Secondly, here is my next project:

I am starting my workout/diet and am wondering how long it takes me to throw in the towel so excited about joining Tena. She wants me to take pictures to hold myself accountable. She is sooo funny! No, I really would take a picture, but I have my grandbaby today and don't want to scar him. So the pix will come later.
Speaking of pictures, look below for some moments of "WHA?"
Just because I am always amazed at the fashion at the Award Shows, I flew there to get the live scoop on these people. Really. Then I gave the pictures to the AP. And to prove it, here are some unknown facts from behind the scenes, just in case you missed them:
"Hey can someone hand me my pants? And don't make me laugh. I am about to pee all down my 7ft long legs."
Carrie "See My" Underwood wear
(Yes, my fat thighs with cellulite and vericose veins are green. I mean look at her legs. hate her.)
Moving right along....
I had no idea Pirates Of the Caribbean's Davy Jones sang.



"Does this hairdo make my brain look fat?"
No, dear. Looking at your dress choice, you still have the skinniest brain in Hollywood.
Aphrodite called, you know the rest....



"Here, Joey, pucker your lips like this and a little shot of botox here and you can look just like me! Am I smiling?"


39 comments:

Tenakim said...

great captions! I didn't watch it- couldn't stomach it. Thanks for the highlights. You're so NOT going to quit at this- and someday I'll post a picture of something more than my gnarley toes or forehead- small goals!

Ronda's Rants said...

Have fun! I just got back from Pilates and I can't feel my butt!
OMG it hurts everywhere else though...welcome to my world! I wished I enjoyed this but it still feels like I am being tortured for information...I know Nothing!

Mrs Parks said...

oooooooo I am so scared of that ickyoogy pirates guy with eeewwwwwwicanttalkaboutit.

Are you really going to take pictures?
Can you use photoshop or to they have to be unaltered?
Why are you doing this?
I'll be back later, I have fresh doughnuts in the kitchen:)

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I love your comments about the Grammy pictures! LOL

Jill you are SO NOT quitting this! If I am doing it you HAVE to do it! Support! Come On!!

♥georgie♥ said...

Oh another one is doing this...i feel like i didnt join the cool club now...geesh
LOVED your captions... Love You!

♥georgie♥ said...

oh and lastly i so think whitney was hittin the sauce a lil early last night...not sure but i thought she was slurrin a lil or else she was about to have a seizure....

Eudea-Mamia said...

Thanks for joining the parade!! So wonderful.

I cried when I saw Carrie Underwood's legs, out of sheer frustration of I don't care what I do, mine will never look like that.

I hate her too.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Carrie Underwood's legs are outrageously unfair to those of us with mere human legs...

Debbie said...

I just love your captions! Great.

Eudea-Mamia said...

Until I saw the picture on the View, I didn't even recognize Lisa Rena (too lazy to look up the correct spelling) with Joey Fatone - WTH?

She's evolving into Liz Taylor.

Please. stop.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Funny that the same fashion disasters were the ones we both had WTF moments about! Paula? Yellow with gold foil? So 1960s.

Kudos on the weight. You know I'm with you.

Julie said...

Wait, I have to go back and read the blog quitting? I'm confused. Don't f*ck with me this early in the day. I mean, afternoon.

Scary Mommy said...

Your family is too gorgeous!!! And Carrie's legs were killing me last night. I could feel the burn just looking at them!

Annie said...

Welcome to fat blast 09.I'm joining you. Let's shop when we commence.

Soxy Deb said...

I joined Tena as well. I got my pics up just now and actually revealed my weight. UGH!!

Good luck to you! And have fun with Grayson today!!

Bee and Rose said...

Carrie Underwear's legs are just totally unfair! I mean...really!

This helped me lose 30 lbs...(I actually blogged this recently...) She walked in while I was do a walk dvd and said, "I smell fatness"..LOL!!!! That kicked my tail in gear quick!

Brenda said...

What a fun weekend! Did Paris wear her underwear to the Grammy's? You took some great pictures & made great time - you took your private plane, didn't you??!!

Jill said...

Have fun! I can't stop laughing! You're crazy WOMAN! You're crazy! love the captions!

Swirl Girl said...

I miss joan and melissa in the after-dissing of all the awards shows. thanks for filling in.

And what happened to Carrie anyway? She's one hot mama now - long cry from her Idull dayz...no?
Can you say spray tan? And, when can I get me some??

Deb said...

oh good... tena roped you in, too? i am feeling optimistic (at this one particular second). i think we can do this! is it too early to go to bed? i'm not tired, but i am hungry and i think sleep is the only thing that will keep me from eating.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

That's called a fashion statement? Yikes! The crab or lobster person was pretty scary looking.

Dawn said...

I think it's great that so many bloggers helped celebrate little Tuesday's life.

I'm debating about the weight loss thing. Well, I KNOW I need to lose it, but I can't really put that button on my blog. :( I have too many church/school people who read my blog. I'll just have to post on Tena's of my progress!! LOL!

That hardly looked like Carrie Underwood. Does anyone get that tan, really!?!?

Michelle said...

I hope you have great luck with your diet. I need to be on one too. I just can't get myself motivated. Your pictures and captions were great. I needed a good laugh today. :)

nikkicrumpet said...

HARHARHAR...I truly think they should hire you to do those red carpet fashion police things. You are way funnier than the schmucks they have currently. And don't you freaking dare to lose your blogger butt when I'm stuck with mine!!!!

Vodka Mom said...

that was great!

And I need to kiss MY FAT ASS goodbye!!

dana wyzard said...

TOMORROW YOU WILL LOVE MY BLOG!!!

I am featuring a new exercise machine that Joe bought me.

Does that qualify for divorce??

Rhonda said...

Hey, I'm trying to kiss my fat ass good-bye too!! I'm down almost 15 pounds!! But, shhhh! don't tell anyone! lol

Seriously, when people ask if I'm losing weight, I widen my eyes and look all innocent and say "nope. Don't think so." lol People just wait for you to fail and watch everything you do and stick their noses in your lunch.

Sheesh. Gimme a break!

Cynthia said...

Good for you on the weight loss thing. I've been working on it too and I'm down 20 lbs.- and so much more to go. Sigh.

Loved your captions and I WILL hate Carrie because she's beautiful. Unbelieveable legs!

Janie said...

Dammit, Jill.

So I guess Carino's is out next time I'm there?

Dammit.

Kritta22 said...

You are such a fruitloop! I love ya!

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

The diet monster has gotten to you too, huh? Well, good luck with that! I want pictures of your big fat bloggin' ass!!!!

OMG, look at Carrie's legs! They're frickin' amazing!!!!!

Justine :o )

h2ofossil said...

Hey, Tubby!

So, I see how you REALLY are! You will go on a virtual diet, with your virtual buddies.....can't wait to see the virtual results.....did you catch my virtual raspberry????

I hope your big fat bloggin a$$ gets virtually ginormous!

Just kidding....NOT!

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Love the blog. I hate girls with nice thighs as well!! Yep, I'm a nice thigh hater........

8 kiddo's? Girl, I'd be dragging around a pole with a needle straight into the vein full of valium ;=}

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Elaine A. said...

Oh Paula, Paula, Paula....

If only I had on the money that that Lisa Rinna woman has spent on botox!

Good luck with your weightloss but don't forget to save calories for our dinner! : )

Deb said...

You and Tena...a great pair. We love your bloggy ass no matter what size it is.

NucMEd is Hot said...

Love the pictures with the captions! The cellulite one is hilarious.

Mariah said...

I didn't watch it-- I get all my info from Blogs, so thanks for the captions. Carrie's legs are hot!! Shoot!

PS I'm still working on my trip out there... Soccer is disrupting my life and my social calendar

PSS I'm joing Tena next Monday.

PSSS What is this "girl talk" blog

My {S.T.U.F.F.} :: said...

The captions are hilarious!!

{LUV} your blog!

Anonymous said...

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