What the heck has been going on, you ask...

It's Monday and I am completely spent emotionally. Tiny silly things are throwing me into huge fits of hysteric laughter. Small insignificant things are bringing me to tears. And yet the drama has spread and all SEVEN of my kids have major issues going on. My niece is just the cherry on top. Bring me a straitjacket.


My MIL has been with us all week due to some home maintenance issues at her house. Bring me Xanax.

I have decided that life goes on, I love to laugh MUCH more than I love to cry, and I can only do so much and asking for help is okay. Plus I have lost 13 pounds. Without exercise. Stress does that. trust me I would rather be fat than deal with what I am dealing with.

The Young 'uns are at their dad's house for three more days and our weekend guests have left. That means dear hubby and I have to speak to complete sentences to one another and I have no one to blame for the dishes stacking up and the supper not being made. (dammit)

Now for the silver lining in my gray cloud.

They started on our pool last week and had it dug and poured before the torrential down pour that lasted three days occurred. So now my lovely cement pond is half full of lime green radio active water or something I am sure that is just as dramatic.

The soil around here in these parts is clay. Brown snotty slimey clay. The kind of clay when wet sticks to your feet and you start the day being 5 ft 5 inches and by the end of the day are close to 8 feet tall. So I have mounds of brown snot/slime surrounding the side and back of my house. Right in my stupid mother effin' dog's poop/pee zone. So, I have to weigh whether I want to clean up pee and poop inside or brown snotty slime of his wet smelly legs if I let him out to do his bizness or just shoot him because he isn't smart enough to go to the other side of the yard.

Now, I have been anticipating this pool for TWO summers and something always comes up and the pool is pushed to the bottom of the list. So this year when the budget came through and I was told by Rick that we could do it, I wasted NO time. Literally. Poor unsuspecting Pool Man was down the street and I walked (yes, I was THAT excited) down and told him to give me his plan book. I was rather bossy and snippy, but he was obliging and completely understood my race to get the hole dug before Rick could change his mind. So I chose a plan, got the quote, fought a little bit on the price and told them to come dig. The backhoe tractor rig showed up less than 2 hours later. And the hole was dug.

Then I decided it was too close to the house.

That white thing is a paper plate. That gray step is our existing patio. So my pool is only 10 paper plates away from my patio edge.

But a too-close-to-the-house-pool is a pool and I was scared that if I made them change it, it would be another summer before I had my summer babysitter pool. So you can't sleep walk at my house or you will walk 14 feet in my backyard and land in the pool, which at this moment is filled with lime jello and which will probably eat your epidermis off.

So my life is crashing around me with my kids all out of whack, but dammit, I am getting a pool.

Bring on the chaise lounges and Mai Tais. Pass me the 45 sunblock and my wide brimmed hat. It will be time to party soon.

Clear your calendar in September for our sleepover. The dates will be decided on soon. We are giving Jay a makeover. Hee hee.

And tomorrow Dana will have a video on the toy she just received. Hee hee.

Now add this fortune cookie to your next post and see where it ends up. No linking required. Just copy as a picture and get down with your bad self.