Monday, March 9, 2009

I am Changing My Name To Jerry Springer

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.

I have decided to transform my garage to a TV studio. The lights and chairs are in place and the audience is restless. The burly bodyguards have been hired are are waiting in the sidelines.

Enter this Saga's stars: my sister, Lizzie(Mom of the Year), my niece(Smartest 15 year old on earth), countless horny bastards, worthless state and city employees, and Me(the current reigning Heartless Bitch).

Let's review a tad:
August 08: My niece decided to move out because she had the choice to follow the rules and quit sneaking out to have sex or move out. Simple enough. She chose to move out because, like most 15 year olds, she is so much smarter than adults.

Oct 08: I get a letter from said niece begging to come back because her mom is making her go to school and work. She now hates her mom (again). I said no.

Dec 08: Repeated calls/texts from niece saying she has changed and will follow rules. I make heart-wrenching decision to stick to my guns and continue to say no, explaining I cannot put MY kids thru this.

Jan 09: Receive call from Lizzie saying I need to take Britt back because she is done being a mom. Three days later I receive call saying niece is pregnant.

Feb 09: Spent a month finding niece a place to stay/advising her to give baby up for adoption. She refuses saying she is never going to do either one because she can take care of herself. Still wants me to take her back because "she can take care of herself". My sister moves to Washington state and leaves her daughter homeless and her Mother of the Year crown in storage.

Mar 6th, 2009: Niece arrives in my town saying she is here and wants to move back in. I say "hell to the no" again. I spend the entire weekend being a prisoner in my own home until my security guy can come and talking with the police. She had sent a text to my daughter telling her to steal money and a phone from us. The police tell me they cannot do anything. CPS cannot do anything because they don't know where she is.

Cue the chorus of "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

I will be signing autographs after the show.

Stay tuned.


Tenakim said...

oh man! Are you gonna tell us you're really a man next?

Sorry you're having to deal with all of this- you wanna talk to someone that really gets the whole poorwhitetrash life- I'm always here!

Annie said...

Man........all I can do is ship good booze and chocolate. Hang in there!

Unknown said...

I am sooo sorry.
I know this story well and it's hard one to get through.
keep your chin up :}

Debbie said...

Are you kidding me? You are really having to go through all of this? That is incredible. Bless your heart.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I feel for ya. Here's hopin' it all works out soon...

Shelley said...

I'm sorry that you are having to go through all this. I just said a prayer for strength and guidance for you. Love ya.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Oh HELL no.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this mess.

Ron Simpson said...

please .. feel free to keep my life ..

Honestly, I was ready for someone else to have the drama for a while .. do not feel compelled to wish it back my direction (even though I know my brief respite is going to be all too brief.)

Deb said...

the only advice i have is to comfort yourself with ice cream. that's what i have been doing.

you go with your gut and put your family (YOUR kids) first. and change the locks.

Kritta22 said...

Holy Crap!!

You totally need to stick to your guns! If she isn't willing to follow your rules and/or major suggestions like adoption, she isn't going to follow the small ones of staying in the house DURING the night or not giving you attitude.

Your little people in the house don't need to see that it's okay to talk back to you, leave and get prego then come back.

I heart you bunches! You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

shutter girl said...

Oh, Jillie...I am so sorry! I am also so proud of you for sticking to your guns. Sounds like this little lady needs some tough love. Hang in there! If you need us we will be here with cheetos and margaritas!

*Just Jen* said...

Holy shitballs Batman! Let's go get drunk! lol

Julie D said...

Holy shit, woman! Doesn't her mother *have* to be responsible for her? She's underage! Shouldn't the police being going after the mother and arresting her for abandoning her child?

What do you need me to do? I can come and put the smackdown on somebody. I'm itchin for a fight.

Or we can just meet somewhere and drink. That works too.

Brenda said...

You are such a fantastic mom! Just keep thinking of your own family first - not matter how tough it gets! Praying for you!

TexasRed said...

Wow -- what alot for you to have to deal with. Hope you're getting through it and niece will find a good place to do some more growing up.

Radical Selfie said...

In the spirit of preserving your sanity, non-gray hairs, and non-prisoner status, remember how strong you are for sticking to your decision NOT to put your household through the unnecessary drama that your niece would likely bring. I'll keep you in my prayers for sure, because somebody's asking for a beat down up in there!!!!

Joanie said...

Are the authorities going after your sister for abandoning her kid and moving away? I think I can see why this kid has become a handful. She's SCREAMING for attention! Stick to your guns though.

Michele said...

OMG, hell NO! I just went through this 2 years ago with my niece. Her mom (my sister) died when she was brother-in-law (the jerk) took my niece and moved to Mississippi..and wouldn't let me see her/talk to her. Then she calls me...she's 15..and pregnant. Oh Aunt Michele can I move in with, ok. Then I find out her boyfriend (the daddy) is a child molester...yup, and he was staying in my house...with my kids. YIKES!

I'm so sorry this is falling on you...let me know if you want to talk!


Jenni said...

Oh my goodness Jill! That is CRAZY! I hope you can get is all straightened out!

Alpacamountain said...

Can you see me holding my fingers in the shape of an L on my forhead? If she is already asking your kids to steal..can you imagine the drama that would have followed?
I do feel for ya, we took in a shithead 16 yr old girl awhile back. Blech!

tamilyn said...

What a freakin' mess. Good for sticking to your guns about not letting her back in. Hopefully she will realize that she can stop her life repeating what her mother's life has been. I also think that her mother should face some kind of charges for abandoning a child, no matter what kind of handful she is. I will say a little prayer that all will work out....and I'll have a drink on your behalf in case that helps too!

Ash said...

Oh God Jill - I have no words.

Why does there have to be "one" (or more) in every family.

Prayers and hugs, and booze if you want it. Em

Ronda's Rants said...

Jilly...I am sorry for everybody!
No winners hard! You are doing the right thing but I know it's not easy!
Sending love and prayers!

Unknown said...

She's a minor so unless her mom has signed away her rights and made her a ward of the court, her mom is very much responsible for her care. She'd better go back to the chest and pick up her mom card because if not, the authorities will do it for her.

Obviously, she is keeping in touch with your kids to manipulate so, phone block her as well.

It's sad that she burned a bridge with you because you are the kindest person I know.

Hang in there!

Michelle said...

I am so sorry! That is a lot to deal with. Hang in there.

Dawn Parsons Smith said...

God bless your heart for sticking to your guns! I went through this with my stepdaughter when she was 17. NIGHTMARE! But we felt the same way you do. She is now 21 and supporting herself and her child. She has done a complete turnaround. Got my fingers crossed for you!

Justine said...

So THIS is the niece shit you've been going through! Why didn't you tell us sooner, so maybe you could get some advice, or at the very least, just get it off your damn chest?
Geez girl, your sister sounds like a major loser. And how is it that said niece has latched on to you and only you?
She's changed her ways, then turns up pregnant? So where is she staying now? Who's paying her rent? Food? Holy shit, this is horrible.

Justine :o )

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

sounds like one of those like mother, like daughter stories. Sorry you have to be going through all that- prayers sent your way!

Anonymous said...

Oh darlin. You just rattled my cage and you KNOW I'm not going to write a little platitude just to leave a comment.

The truth is this: Look at your prior post. The one where you mention the things about your kids that you love. That didn't happen by you leaving. Or deserting them. It happened by you being the kind of mom that your sister chose not to be.

What comes next? Your kids. That's what. Number one.

Your niece can NOT take care of herself just by "saying she can" when all the proof says otherwise.

And you owe it to your own, to protect them from the Jerry Springers of the world.

Deb said...


That is too much. What a mess. What does your mother have to say about all of this?



Tardevil said...

You've got your hands full. I think I'd keep some Advil handy. Best of luck.

Paige said...

Well you have been busy! You make my swelled up eye look tame

hang in there

Jill said...

Oh my.. what a mess! I am so sorry that you are going through this. It has got to be adding so much stress to your life. To know that she is only 15 and so mixed up it is so sad. I hope everything works out soon!

Suzann said...

Jill, apparently we live in a parallel universe. I know this story, I've lived this story, I've seen how it ends. Well, it hasn't ended actually, it continues to live on and spawns new chapters at every turn. Stick to your guns sweetie. I'm in the same boat and we can keep each other company. Because 20 years later the song remains the same and new characters are added. Love to you!!! Between you and me, we "BE" the REAL Jerry Springer. LOL. (ya just gotta laugh or you'll cry - I know).

That Janie Girl said...

Holy F'king Shit, Jill!

Debz said...

I saw this same exact thing on a Lifetime movie last week...

Just keep taking deep breaths and counting to 10. You already know there is nothing you can do with either one of them. Just keep praying that somehow it works out. Pray hard.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

What an ordeal!! Hang tough girl.

NucMEd is Hot said...

Stick to your guns, change your numbers, buy a really big dog and an even bigger bottle of tequila!

I hate this for you.

nikkicrumpet said...

I'm so sorry. You don't deserve any of this....(well maybe just the cops not whistling at you when they catch you in your robe). You're smart to stick to it...STAY TOUGH...sick Andy on them....and my heart goes out to you and I'll keep you in my prayers!

amelia bedelia said...

Book me for the next show....I really need to throw a chair at someone!! I won't say any names....ok, it starts with a L and ends with izzie. love ya, sister...hang in there.

binks said...

What a shame that you have to deal with this.
I wish there was something we could do or say to make it better. Unfortunately, these kids want to make their mistakes, take their lumps and blame it all on their family, teachers, situation, etc.
You've done your part by trying to help out a bad situation and get repaid with grief.
Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.

Kristen H said...

I thought it was bad that I haven't seen my niece in about a year because we tell her what is what and she doesn't like it. She won't answer her phone (lives with her mother) my brother is her dad. We didn't get invited to the 16th b-day, she didn't come for xmas, won't talk to us. But we all abandoned her.
And people feel bad for me because I had cancer and couldn't have children. HMMM!!! I am not so sure it such a sad thing.
Love ya, prayers being sent, take care!!!

aterilli said...

Isn't there an Edna Gladney Home for unwed mothers in the area? I will pray that she will reconsider...that poor little baby she's carrying! I will pray for you too.

Lisa L said...

Wow. What a horrible situation. No one knows where she is? omg...I can only imagine how shitty this is for you... (((hugs)))

SOS said...

Yikes! That is a lot of drama and definitely TV worthy. Let me know if you need a big bouncer, I'm totally in.

Rhonda said...

Well, holy shit, my friend! Your drama is far worse than mine! You definitely have a Jerry Springer show on your hands, only the babies daddy will have to be her brother. Ewww.

Glenda, saved by grace said...

you made me feel right at home. I think everybody (if they would admit it)has some Springerism's in their family!

Unknown said...

Oh girl, I am praying for you all, especially your mis-guided niece.

And you can pull up a chair to my episode next. There's some stuff goin' on in my family that is quite Jerry Springer-like too!

Swirl Girl said...

the one saving grace from this whole story is that the niece is NOT your seed...for we all know that no child of yours would be in such a predicament. And although you need to be there for her (because how can you NOT) - she has to hit rock bottom in order to clean up her act. If being pregnant and homeless isn't rock bottom - I don't know what is.
Fear is a powerful motivator.

Halftime Lessons said...


Ok, first off, I must have missed this post this week while I was wrestling with my Google Reader and sidebar widget...both of which seem to work like a stir-fried pile of shit. Plus Im male, so I cant find a great way to keep up with all this anyway. Basically Im screwed.

Or so I thought.

Until I read about your sweet sister and niece.

And now, I feel strangely at lease with my life.

Holy shit, woman?! Incredible story!!

Tell your sis that the next time she needs a phone or some money you will be happy to shove them up her ass.

Hang in there, champ. Incredible.

The Rule Maker said...

Hang in there!

Linda S said...

*flashes boobs and grabs beeds*
hey, sounds like you have your hands full. sorry you have to deal with this... Would some Ben to go along with that Jerry help?

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