Monday, December 1, 2008

A Couple of Pictures

Now that everyone has gone home and I can come out of the kitchen, I am now checking back into Blogland. I.AM.NEVER.COOKING.AGAIN. Okay, at least not until Monday night. We cooked 3 deep fried turkeys and had 2 honey baked hams. I cooked all day Tuesday because I had patients to see all day Wed, and finished Wednesday evening with all the cooking. I was so flippin' tired on Thursday, that I hardly ate. Which was good because I had gained probably 10 lbs. on the cruise.


Speaking of cruise....
Since you asked, here a couple of pictures from our trip:

This is a picture of our ship. Don't ask me which dock/island we were in.
Dana Wyzard is so popular and famous that she has her own store in St Maarten. By the way, Dana, the girl that you had working that day wouldn't give me that discount I told her you said I could have. Fire her.
This was a beach we visited. We had taken a tour and didn't have a chance to lay out and tan. Heh heh. Like I would do that anyway.
Rick was ready to go tan but I made him pose for a picture. And no, I am NOT pregnant. It just looks like it


This is wear I had to pee. I couldn't take a picture of the other side because IT WAS A HANGING OFF A FREAKING CLIFF. I was wondering why there was sunlight coming thru the floorboards.

This was St Thomas from the peak that I watched Rick climb to take a picture. marrying a mountain climber has it's perks. No, people, It was a trail. No ropes or picks were needed. I waited on level ground and sweated. HEY!! Waiting is tiring.

No idea where this is. Ummm, Curacao?

This is definitely Curacao. Maybe.

I actually married this weirdo man that PAID some dreadlock dude to pose with his boa.


This was a formal night. I was just waking from a food coma I had eaten myself into. And no, I am not pregnant here either.

I standing here with my erection. Okay, really, it's my drawstring. Note to self: Don't tie you damn drawstring over your huge ginormous pudge. It makes you look like you a have a hard-on.



Does this life vest make my face look fat?
Take note of the light that is over my left boob...


Please note where Rick's hand is strategically placed. Over this light that about the size of a nipple. The man could not quit twisting it the entire time he had that damn vest on. I would clear my throat and nod to let him know that he was still titty-twisting. He would stop until I turned my head then again with the rolling it in his fingers. I think I even saw him lean his head back and close his eyes. He is a sicko.

This was in our hotel in San Juan. I had just said, "Don't let me leave the camera. I HAVE to take pictures for my Peeps." So Mr. Funny decides to snap one of me undressing. I am sure I am saying, "Darling, precious, don't take one of me, pretty please." or something like that...


Okay. I WENT on the freakin' trip and I am bored, so I will add more later. Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving. I am so glad it's over and I am so not looking forward to puting up all the Christmas decorations that are down from the attic and sitting on my office floor. I just don't have the energy.

41 comments:

Ronda's Rants said...

OMG It looks wonderful...I can't wait to get out of here!!!!!!
I think you both look wonderful and it looks like you had fun!

georgie said...

YAY you survived Thanksgiving...I was worried someone may have 'cooked your goose' ;-)
The pics are FAB-breathtakin views!!!
I was LMAO@your hard on

Deb said...

i'm not bored looking at the pictures, i'm JEALOUS! but i am curious why you had your reading glasses in the penis one. you weren't doing anything educational, were you???

my decorations are sitting in boxes in my study, too. i did slap a christmas-y wreath on the front door, but it kind of clashes with the pumpkins that are rotting on my front porch.

i am soooooo glad you are back.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

"It's the biggest one I've ever seen." (complimenting your ginormous weenie)

Glad you're back, yaaaaay!!!

Nicole said...

looks fantastic! Wish I were there right now. I need a vacation from my kids.

AJ said...

Had to laugh about the pregnant comment-even though I do not think you look pregnant! I just posted a picture of myself and thought the same thing but I didn't want to point it out in case no one else caught it! HA! I don't realize how I really truly look until I see myself in pictures! ACK!
Love your sense of humor:)

Vodka Mom said...

okay, so I just laughed my ASS off at your erection! Holy shit that was funny. (a cruise???????man....)

Janie said...

Girl. If you get a woody like that, well, then, you are my new BFF!

Loved the pix, glad y'all had a good time, and WHY wasn't I invited for Thanksgiving?

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Annie said...

You look great! I hate drawstrings too. I tuck 'em!
Beautiful scenery!

Cynthia said...

It looks and sounds like you had a fabulous time. I want to go on a cruise! And I totally laughed at your drawstrings. Sorry!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

You crack me up... If you did have that member and were pregnant... oh wait... someone already did all that.

Jess said...

Holy Crap! 3 turkeys and 2 hams??? How many people were you feeding? My family is so small we had left overs with only one turkey and no ham!

Your vacation picture are awesome! I love the captions!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Your pencil shaped woody...I would've been running for the hills if I had seen that.

No...on second thought...I would've taken your picture and sold it to the National Enquirer.

Just kidding...glad you had a great time on your cruise.

The Mom said...

You look gorgeous! Love the hard-on shot LOL!!

AFF said...

You need to go back and read my honeymoon cruise. Scary.

I love St Thomas. Did you?

And, honey...THREE turkeys? You nutter!

Julie said...

I'm so jealous. And now that I've seen your raging erection, I totally think I love you. I'm just sayin.

gingela5 said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who checked out of blogland for awhile! Glad we're both back! And it looks BEAUTIFUL where you went--and you look lovely in all of the pictures as well! I love the "hard on" one..hehe

Eudea-Mamia said...

I'm soooooo happy you're back!!

And no, that's not a drawstring in my pocket.

(odd, since I'm a lady and all - but that's how much I missed you)

dana wyzard said...

Since everyone mentioned your hard-on, I'll forget about my comment. My sister has that exact same dress....guess it's no longer an original. As for you getting undressed, I assume the double beds were redundant.

And now for the expose': That bitch totally stole all of my LIFE IS GOOD products and refuses to send me any of the profits. I even had her profiled on AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. So I need to ask that you send me the one you purchased so that I can give it to the cops for fingerprints. Yeah. That sounds good. cops...fingerprints...thank you.

Swirl Girl said...

So after all the 'hiking' and 'sightseeing' and that tourist crap - didja do any good shopping???

oh- and if you're draw string looks like a hard on, then I have a permanant erection!!

Tiffany said...

LMAO Why didn't Rick tell you about your boner? That titty twisting snake wearing weirdo. LOL

Ginger said...

Hey Jill...looks like you were having a great time, you had a smile in every picture. You both look very nice in your "formal night" picture. Had to laugh at the drawstring comment. I wouldn't of even noticed it, had you not mentioned it.
The snake is scary....
Ginger

Marilyn said...

I love the pictures! It's almost like I was there with you...whatever. I wasn't. My favorite picture is you with a stiffy on deck, SO funny!!
I'm really gald your back and I'm realy sorry you had to work and cook so much and I'm really sorry that now you have to put up all the holiday decor.
Why don't you have a pina colada and watch some daytime t.v instead.
I would if I were you.

sassy stephanie said...

Hey at least it's a useful erection. I can see you are resting your coffee cup on it.

Robin said...

These pictures are really great but your captions? Now they're just freakin' HILARIOUS! The erection one is my absolute fave.
PS- You gotta love a vacation where you saw so many different pretty places you can't keep them straight!

Jennifer Suarez said...

I love the pictures!! Thanks for sharing.

You had me LOL @ the erection one. You are too funny

nikkicrumpet said...

You never disappoint....I laughed so hard through that whole thing. The "erection" picture had me howling!!! I think my neighbors may have just called the police! OH MY...I haven't laughed that hard in weeks! I'm glad you guys had such a great time...and maybe you ought to buy one of those vests and put it in the hubbies stocking.

Tenakim said...

totally jealous- looks gorgeous and nice ass!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Oooooh....so lovely! I want to go baaaaaaaaack on my boat! Did you have a balcony room? Was Mega 4 the poolside band? :::::sigh:::::

Rhonda said...

I. Can't. Stop. Laughing!!!!

Your erection picture almost made me shoot snot out my nose!!!

Dee said...

Too funny. I love the erection shot. Can I come over for some ham??? We only did Turkey this year :(

amelia bedelia said...

sister, it's ok to go ahead and tell everyone now that you are a hymaphrdite. it's ok, everyone will still love you, Bill, I mean, Jill.

Linda S said...

Gorgeous pics. until the hard on..then I had to laugh so much I peed MY pants....

GinGin said...

I loved the pics!!! you are crazy!!! Thanks to Amy for helpin my BF last night. I cannot believe that happened to her. I don't understand how men can become such freakin idiots when a woman is divorcing them. And this one of hers is such a damn ass. Had to have his mommy come and stand guard when your sis took her back to get her vehicle.

Farrago said...

Nice bathroom bus.

Soxy Deb said...

WTF!? With the Boa?? I had to put my feet up on the printer stand. I flippin hate snakes.
But your hard on kinda turned me on a little bit. I don't mind sayin.

binks said...

Thanks for that - freaking hilarious.

Candice said...

LMAO! I love the hard-on picture. Priceless!

Looks like you guys had a fabulous trip. I'm jealous!! Must be the hard-on...

Nicole said...

That looks amazing!! J and I did a RC cruise this past May to St. Maarten and the Keys and it was such a wonderful time!! I'm so jealous of you guys!! Although I do find every one of your pictures to be hysterical!!

Justine said...

OMG, I totally lost it with "this is me with my erection". OMG!!!!!! Heeheeheeeeeeeeee! Then the whole nipple thing! Oh please please please post more pictures of yourself!!!!!! Heeheeheeeeeeeee

Justine :o )

Mrs4444 said...

HILARIOUS! And I'm jealous. Maybe some day...