Name-dropping and Teeny Tiny Foreigners

I just want to say that the people you meet on a cruise and share almost meal with, become your "family" on the ship. We sat at a table that had the most AWESOME couples and just fell in love with them. I even was more pumped to go to dinner than normal, just to laugh and visit with these people. I apologetically name-dropped some of YOUR names when they told us which state they lived in. Sorry if you wanted to remain anonymous.

This is Morris and Donnette from Connecticut. They didn't know you, Nikki Crumpet. But their dogs HAD heard of your dogs.

Another couple was from Ohio. They didn't know you, Jules, but they were wonderful, so you need to look them up. The last couple was from Puerto Rico. I have no blog buds from there, so everyone is safe. I don't have pictures of them since I always had too much wine at dinner and totally forgot to snap one. Sorry.

At St Thomas, which, yes AFF, was totally the shiznik, we went on a tour with a group of ladies on another ship that were from England. They were hysterical and even when they said things like, "What is that building?" or "It is so hot here," I was cracking up at them. Their accent was so great. I could have listened to them  all 7 days. Plus, they told us when they went back to their ship, we were "a delightful couple". Smart and funny. Perfect combo.

I really think there is something wrong with me. Just riding in van for the short tour with these ladies, I was talking like them, using the same inflections and verbage they used. I couldn't help it. It was getting on Rick's last nerve and when I would talk, he would jerk his head to look at me with this wide-eyed frown on his face. I would just look at him and in my best English accent I would say, "What?" Then for the rest of the day I said "spot of tea" and "smoke a faggot" like a million times. I was freakin' hilarious and cracking myself up.

We gambled every night and won and lost and won and lost, but it was quite entertaining. I had this favorite machine and spent most of my time on it, feeding it all my money. On Wed. I went to go sit at MY machine and there was this tiny little Puerto Rican lady sitting there. Poor thing. It was a nickle machine, but I had played it so much, I knew when to bet a  nickle on one line or all 9 lines. But she didn't. She had no clue what she was doing and was betting one nickle on one line. For an hour. I hovered. I sighed and gave her the 'get-off-my-machine-you-tiny-little-woman' look. I even asked her if she would be playing it all night. She, of course, spoke no English and just glared at me. I was literally Jonesing to get on that machine, and with turtle like movements she pushed one button and drove me INfreakinSANE. So, after an hour, I gave up and went and threw away $40 on another machine.

The next night, I literally ran down to the casino, thinking that freakishly teeny woman was NOT going to take my machine tonight. I rounded the corner, digging my twenty out of the front my bra and came to screeching halt. There she sat, only now she was accompanied by her freakishly tiny husband. She looked up and gave me the stink eye and I slinked off. The rest of the week, I would see her during the day and we would glare at one another, then look at our watches to see if the casino was open yet. I would be there at 3pm to play my machine and she ALWAYS beat me there. I think she was slipping thru cracks like a mouse to get to that damn machine. That is the only explanation there is. I would see her sitting in a chair up on the deck and so I would take the stairs to the casino, only to find her already there. I was beginning to think there were 2 of her. Or she was magic. But she never won, so she wasn't magic. I don't think. She stressed me out the rest of the cruise.

Speaking of stressing me out, my daughter Kalee told Grayson, who is now THREE, "Grayson, you are stressing me out." Ten minutes later, he said to me,"GiGi, you are stretching me out." So that is now the way we will say it. Don't stretch me out. I need a drink, I am stretched out. God, I LOVE that kid.