Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Back By Demand

Grab your blankie and snuggle up. For your relaxation and sleep aide, I am giving you 20 more.

This post is a continuation of the 100 bits and pieces of me in celebration of my 100th post. Deb gave this cool little widget of me sitting and looking so realistically thin and tired to commemorate the celebration. Thanks Deb!!!
Alrighty, moving right along...
21. I make a 12 cup pot of coffee every morning and usually drink the entire thing. Rick pours himself a cup and lets it sit...So, actually I only drink an 11 cup pot.
22. I still have no window treatments on my kitchen windows. Or in the dining room. I have the fabric. In my closet. Waiting patiently to become beautiful window coverings.
23. We have lived in our community since last December with no neighbors. Now we have 2 families building down the street. Not sure how I feel about having to be all neighborly now.
24. The family that will be moving in first was at my house EVERY DAY before it was completed. They were getting ideas for their new house. Did I mention they were here before we moved in EVERYDAY looking at my house and making notes?
25. The house down the street is almost exactly like mine. Same Antique Brown hand-scraped hardwood floors. Same tile. Same basic colors. Similar floor plan. I. AM. TAKING. THIS. AS. A. HUGE. COMPLIMENT. LIKE. MY. HUSBAND. TOLD. ME. TO. DO.
26. I snuck in their house to look late Sunday night. Mine is much better. Just sayin'....
27. I have never had issues about sharing ideas, colors, design tricks, whatever. This time I am like a spoiled 14 year old. I am thinking it stems from her "lurkiness" prior to us moving in. It's VERY difficult for me to be the Welcome Wagon. Copy Catter.
28. I am really dreading this trip we are taking next week. I know, I know...I am ungrate and whiney. It isn't the trip itself. It is the timing. We come back at midnight on Sunday, which gives me 3 days to prepare for Thanksgiving. Did I mention I have 35 people coming?
29. I should be concerned about the food. But that is the least of my worries. My main concerns are those damn window coverings. THAT is what I will be doing this week. Screw the dressing and the broccoli rice casserole. My windows will be FABULOUS!!! (Please God, let the hot glue hold up at least thru Christmas. Amen.) Their tummies will be growling, but they can look for the pizza delivery guy out of the wonderful windows.
30. I do not know how to sew. I use bonding tape or hot glue.
31. I have really struggled over what to get my SSS for Christmas.
32. I like Thanksgiving a million times more than Christmas because of the whole gift expectation thing.
33. The best Christmas we ever had as a family was when when we all went skiing in Tahoe. That was everyone's gift. Their presents consisted of scarfs and gloves. That was it. We ate like pigs and I had nothing to exchange at the stores. I wish I could do that every Christmas.
34. I think I have a strange version of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. When watching movies, I miss the whole plot when I am concentrated on the decor of the character's home or their car. I also do that in the romance department. In the throws of passion, I am thinking, 'Crap! Those candles are going to drip on my table,' or 'Man! I need to dust that headboard.'
35. Beer breath is a turn on for me.
36. I have seen Rick drunk 3 times. All 3 times were on our last cruise.
37. He is funny without being drunk, but liquored up- he could do stand-up comedy. He is HILARIOUS.
38. I am going to wear linen the entire trip next week. It's November, but 88 degrees in Aruba. Linen is the only summery clothing I own. And linen is out of season. I am hyper-ventilating over the fact I will not technically be in style.
39. I am planning to drink the entire 7 days we are on the ship. I don't mean wine with my meals either. I have been on this cruise once and seen all the sites sober. I am hoping to be soused the entire time. So if you hear on the news about some drunk broad in linen being removed from the cruise ship and put in an Arubian jail for incessant disorderly conduct, it's me. I am going to live it up.
40. I am lying about the disorderly conduct thing in #39. I am giggler when I am drunk, not disorderly. I am hoping incessant giggling is not illegal. I am scared of jail.
Okay, wake up now. I am finished for today.
Do you think I can be the non-addictive alternative to Ambien CR?


Debz said...

None of that put me to sleep. You better bet into training for the drinking. When I get there, there WILL BE DRINKING. And I do not do giggling, so snap out of it!! However, there was that one time in band camp...
The chick moving in down the street - yeah, her (shhhh) can you get in there and do a little mischief before she moves in? You know, maybe take down a wall or two? Call it an 'open floor plan'. I won't tell.
I could go on the cruise with you if you pay for my ticket. Then we could really have some fun with drunk Rick!! I see a switcheroo hapening ;)

Danielle said...

OK...Beer breath is a turn on for me, too!!! I always thought that was weird, but now I know I'm not alone!!! YEAH!

I think I'll call hubby and tell him to have a few b/f I get home tonight! ;)

Ronda's Rants said...

I would love to learn how to make window treatments with a hot glue gun! Blog before you go...I know you have time...Carrie would have time!
Have fun in Aruba...I have never been there. We are going on a cruise in December...it is what is getting me through my life at the moment!

Kristina P. said...

No neighbors? I wonder what that would be like. My husband and I have lived in apartments or condos for the past 5 years.

Rhonda said...

OMG, I love 39!! Can I come and I'll sit beside you in prison exclaiming "Damn, that was FUN!"

Anonymous said...

These are great! I would be pissed to say the least if someone copied my house. I get so mad at stuff like that! THat's why I am a baby...And have fun in Aruba--I'll go in your place if you don't want to go! :)

Unknown said...

breathes heavly on my screen-it's beer o'clock here....

oh add 2 more for Thanksgiving jess and I are coming too...lol I WISH!!!! we have nuttin to do ON Thanksgiving Day...

I will gladly go to Aruba with you too...are you payin? I have never been and always wanted to go...

OH and I drink a 12 cupper well okay jess has one cup so we are even
Hugs and miss you much!

lastly i am having NO issues with my SSS-my only issue I cant stop buying for her!

Unknown said...

Loved the post... Congrats on your 100th ppost! I am so with you on the window treatment thing,... STILL waiting to do something with my windows... & the lurky neighbor.. go over & as walk through her house mention... ¨WOW that is just like ours... so she knows that YOU know she is a copy cat... ; )

Mrs Anne said...

Your lists are cracking me the hell up. Girl you keep on with your lists... they brighten my day!

:) as for the neighbors... yes, take it as a compliment, but deep down you get the satisfaction of having it all FIRST. :)


Dawn said...

Your neighbor is SO a copy catter. Obviously, she admires what you've done and YES you should feel grateful. But, dang!!

I'd love to go on another crusie. Our second cruise we booked I found out two weeks later that I was pregnant and had to get our money back! Ugh!

Now that Cam is no longer a boobie baby I'm ready for another one!
I hope you have lots of fun and not worry too much about Thanksgiving!

Jenni said...

I soooooo want to go to Aruba again! You should have charged your new neighbors a consulting fee!

BacktoBarnwell said...

Hahaha...Be careful. In Barnwell, the funeral director's son fell off of a cruise ship drunk...According the small, yet efficient grapevine there, he fell off and found some floating sticks and trash and climbed aboard until a Russian freighter picked rescued his ass...

Kritta22 said...

I totally loved reading about all of that!
I have a solution for your window treatments...fly me down there and I'll work on them when you are gone. With thread. I'm just saying, it will probably last longer.
You should tee pee your neighbors house. It would make me feel better! Or shrimp them! (Hide some shrimp in the cupboard or behind the oven...you know the places. It will stink about the time they are ready to move in! :) I'm just saying, it will make you laugh EVERY time you have to go over there. And will make you KNOW that your house is better because it doesn't smell like something is dying. Oh make sure it looks chewed up and tell them there has been a stray cat around the house, if they ask!)
Why wasn't I invited on this cruise? We could have had a ball together! Well have fun in your linens!

Unknown said...

Never been to Aruba. In HS Renee Z went and came back with ringworm! It's the only thing I can think of when I think of Aruba, well that and Natalee Holloway. But have fun, I suppose the alcohol might keep the ringworms away.

Mamahut said...

What was that movie called? Where she came home and the girl looked just like her and tried to kill her? I'm brain dead...can't remember the name. Keep an eye on hubby ;) I like the shrimp idea too. The older I get the more childish I become.

I think your all brats. Brat like the dolls not the wiener dogs from Wi. I have never been on a cruise. I'm kinda sceerd of the open waters.

Swirl Girl said...

I am with you on #34, especially.
I can watch a movie 100 times, and still only see one tiny part of it.

....and I will gladly take your place on the cruise if you don't think you can handle it.

You can come to my house and scrape all the drippy candle wax off my tables and I will be in the casino aboard ship.

Threeundertwo said...

I love these lists. But beer breath? Um no thanks.

Tiffany said...

Mom what about me? Am I not going with you?

I've never been on a cruise. Hell I've never been on a damn airplane before. We don't "travel" too much round these parts.

Have fun and drink up for me. And promise you'll do some shots in my lil country asses honor. K?

Jennifer said...

You are funny Jill! And wow--I thought I drank a lot of coffee!

Happy 100 posts and good luck w/ your widow treatments!!

Lisa L said...

'Copy cat, dirty rat, sitting on a lump of fat!'

That was the charming little ditty we chanted when we were kids and pissed of about a copy catter.

Aruba. Wow. Lucky you! Have the best time :)

Julie D said...

Wait, we're going on a cruise? I missed that memo, I'm not even packed!!!!! I've gotta get busy!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on hitting the 100 mark. That's awesome, and no easy feat, right?

I wouldn't trade my Ambien for anything.


careysue said...

I'm with mamahut, the movie is single white female and it was creepy...that neighbor would make me nervous.

She needs to get a life!!!

She's someone you can blog about and we can all laugh!!

Congrats on hitting 100! Here's to 100 more!!

Mrs4444 said...

You are hilarious. Must be the 11 cups of coffee?

Mrs4444 said...

P.S. Ew. Beer breath? Makes me think of my dad; no thanks!

Unknown said...

I so would repainting her walls and putting in that 70's paneling. When she walks in, you can smile and tell her that you thought she liked your eye for design so you surprised her and added your very own touch.

Ummm, are you sure you want to go to Aruba? Isn't the black hole there? If you get sucked down the black hole, can your sis turn your house into a bed and breakfast and I can come over anytime and for free??? Pretty please???

What's a window treatment?

Wendy said...

We must be twins separated at birth, but never knew about each other! Because I totally could have written every single statement on your list about myself! If I were you, I'd be up on a ladder the night before Thanksgiving around 3 a.m. stapling the "window treatments" (I use that term loosely) to the wall; everyone would come over for Thanksgiving dinner and tell me how fabulous they look - and I would HAVE to point out to them how they were stapled to the wall. Stupid, or what? I can't help myself.
Girl, go on that cruise, get your drunk on and leave candle wax on THEIR furniture!

Nicole said...

God I laugh my @$$ off more often than not when I read your blog! I love it!! Have fun on your trip and safe travels!!!

Deb said...

i can't WAIT to hear about your trip. please promise to take some funny pictures!!

are you enjoying dragging out your centennial celebration? i love how you basically dragged out two things (your trip and the stalker neighbors) into 20 things. it must be a gift!

did you ever see the movie Single White Female?

thanks for your words of encouragement. preacher's ex-wife... heaven help us!

AJ said...

I know I could stand to lose a little weight but I still think I could fit in your suitcase;) I.Need.To.Get.Uh.Way!!!!!

Deb said...

Well if Rick has beer on the cruise, you'll be reviving the whole "Love Boat" thing, huh??

nikkicrumpet said...

Please...oh please tell me you weren't just whining about going to Aruba....because I will kick you azz...I will...and I won't even feel guilty if I leave a shoe print on your tush!!! Have a great trip.....and NO BOOZE FOR YOU!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Okay the biters down the street that are stealing your style would annoy the hell outta me. Just Sayin'

Beer breath is a turn off for me unless I have been drinking as well.

I am totally stressin' about shopping for my SSS as well. I want to get the perfect gift and not let her down!

I am jealous of the cruise except when I can't go poopy for a few days!! You had to read one of my latest blogs to get that one.

Coloradolady said...

Jill, for what it is worth, I have a problem with taking anyone copying me as a compliment. About 4 years ago, we gutted our kitchen and did a complete remodel, well my SIL did the same thing after we did, and guess what, it is THE SAME as ours, cabinets, sinks, stove & appliance colors, flooring, paint....all of it. I was so pissed, I have still not gotten over it. Seriously, who the heck does that.....my SIL. Compliment...no way....just a way to piss me off!!

That Janie Girl said...

Great, you heifer. You just TRY to get me to move in next door to you after you've trashed your copycat neighbors. Heck. Didn't Rick build those houses, too?

Hey, girl. I know how you swing now. Now, I'm going to buy the lot/acreage/youknowwhatImean next door and put in a doublewide - to hell with JillJillBoBill restrictions. And it's going to be an aluminum doublewide, too. Or a log cabin one.

My doghouse, though? Two story. Brick. Flagstone front. Nothing but the best for the two barkingest dogs in the neighborhood. You'll love them.

Your property taxes are so going to go up.

And...a stand up pool in the front yard. Pink flamingos. A million freakin' Christmas lights that stay up all year round.

And...a neon sign facing the golf course, with an arrow pointed towards your back porch, that says "Watch Jill Show Her Stuff here!

'kay. Done.

Where do I sign?

Love this 20. Want more.

Tulsi said...

I love that your priorities are straight. #29!!!

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the non-sewing. And I'm in the Jr League and approve of you wearing linen in November. You got the okay here, allrighty?

Unknown said...

I think somehow my invitation to T-Day dinner got lost in the E-MAIL. Hmmm....

Ash said...

I'm so with you on the Christmas thing. I just got finished sending a note to my MIL to please control herself with the boys, one gift each is wonderful. She's creating little monsters where she is concerned.

And seriously, there's only so much Dollar Store toxic China carp I want in my house.

She's more the quantity over quality kind of chick. I'm more, one nice thoughtful thing (read does NOT have to be expensive), and you're done!

As far as the whole drunk cruise thing, stay away from the balconies, ok?


binks said...

I thought linen was the national Aruban fabric, so I think your safe. Be wary of railings in your drunken stupor. They leap up and push.
The last (and only) cruise I was on, I was worshipping the porcelin god every night, all night.
Have fun and no worries on the window treatments. Leave 'em off and claim you are exploring minimalism.