I Swear We Are Almost Done

Almost done. The punishment ends tomorrow. Well, after the last 20.

Okay , just like Die Hard and Rocky- the saga continues:





61. I raised sheep in 4H for my project when I was a youngster. In case you don't know, sheep are the stupidest animals out there.


62. I placed 5th in my class (that is bad, for you non-4H-ers out there), but made almost $300 more than the Grand Champion in the sale every year because the bidders were friends of my parents.


63. I was the outcast in 4H from then on. Sore losers...


64. I was inconsolable when they took my lambs to the trailer after the first sale, so my mom told me that the Jay Childers (the buyer friend) had a beautiful pasture where Barney would frolic and play with tons of lamb friends.


65. I found out the truth when I was 17 at a family get-together when, as lamb chops were being served, my daddy said, "Would you like a piece of Barney?" I laughed and said in all innocence, "I wonder how all my lambs are doing. It's been like 5 years. I bet they are huge now." Everyone at the table stopped mid-air, frozen like statues and stared.


66. I have never eaten lamb since.


67. I have a new house cleaning lady coming today to "try out" for what is known in the house keeper's circle as the easiest job in the world.


68. I used to clean my house BEFORE my house keeper gets here because I didn't want to be known around town as a pig.


69. I also gave her clothes and shoes and gave her free access to my refrigerator. So they came to my house to drink Diet Coke, get gently used clothes and shoes for free, and get paid.


70. Things are different now. I am changing. Turning over a new leaf.


71. I am out of Diet Coke. She will have to drink water.


72. I actually completed my dining room window treatments yesterday. (Wanted to make a good impression for the new house keeper...)


73. I burned each finger print off with my hot glue gun.


74. I can now begin my life of crime and will never be found out.

75. I didn't line my new drapes. But the use of fringe makes up for that in my opinion.

76. When John David was 8, he got a new BB gun (I wanted to teach him early). I told him what ever he shot and killed he had to eat to keep the demise of birds to a minimum.

77. He not only killed a bird, but shot his brother in the ass. His BB gun license was revoked soon after.

78. Two years later, he shot out the neighbors plate glass window while shooting at their tree. The BB ricocheted off the tree and hit the window. That lesson of physics for him cost me $325.

79. I never made him eat that bird he killed.

80. I did make him eat the glass picture window though. He now works in a circus as their main act.

Hee Hee