Thursday, October 23, 2008

Cooper for President

I am losing my marbles. I have raised many boys and seen them turn into fine young men. I am not sure I can pull this one off. I may have met my match.

This is Cooper in our hotel room.



My youngest child, Cooper, was adopted along with his sister, after we had them as foster children when they were 5 weeks and 17 months old. Cooper has never met a stranger and has no enemies. He is kind and funny, and makes you feel like you are the center of his world whenever you are with him. He is a mechanical genius. He is video game champion 2008. He reads on a sophomore level. And he has never completed a chore since he was 6. He gets me side-tracked and I don't notice the half-ass job until he is asleep, looking so innocent and angelic. And he is flunking 2 classes.

I had the dreaded teacher's conference with ALL my 12 year old son's teachers this week. It started at 3pm ,and I anticipated being done by 3:30. A simple, "Your son has so much potential, but he doesn't work to capacity", "His average is extremely high, except for daily grades and writing assignments", "I think he is so cute. I am amazed you didn't really birth him" were the expected phrases I anticipated. And I got those, okay, minus the 'amazed you didn't birth him' phrase, and just as I expected he is lazy at school AND home. Each teacher was allowed to tell me what the issues were. Each teacher said he read too much. And rushed through his work and can't write legibly.

He was the top student of the Accelerated Reader program last year, and this year is like 3000 points ahead of the closet competitor. He would rather be reading than doing anything else. The reading teacher confessed to never having this issue before. She hates to make him stop, but he is avoiding his school work.

And he is a schmoozer. He schmoozes his way though, avoiding having to do what the others students are required to do. He is cute and charming. The teachers all confessed to having problems making him do required work because he can make them see it his way and his excuses make sense at times. He side-tracks them as well. All the teachers. All five of the seasoned experienced teachers.

So, after two and a half hours of "conferencing", all of us agreeing that he needed to go into politics, these women that I have never met before now get him every Tuesday and Thursday after school for tutoring. The conference will go down in history as the longest and most fun. And our next planned conference, I am in charge of bringing the wine.

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We went to Oklahoma on the 10-12th of this month. We have been home 11 days. Cooper has apparently been without his toothbrush for 11 days. He finally confessed this morning when I asked him how long it had been since he brushed his teeth, since they looked like kernels of corn hanging from his gums. 11 days, people. He is smart, but not clean.

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So in thirty years, when you see a cute, charming, highly intelligent Presidential candidate with yellow teeth and the name of Cooper, please vote for him. I think I would look cute in the White House. And think of the blog parties we could throw...

47 comments:

mommaof4wife2r said...

i'm bookmarking his face now so i can remember his best qualities!

Sidney (Sixy Mama) said...

What a sweet little man! He's definitely got my vote...and we have something further in common - my kids aren't good at remembering to brush their teeth either. So my kids will be the ones with yellow teeth VOTING for the prez with yellow teeth.

Should I take offense at the comment you left..."when I am at a loss for a post"? Am I THAT lame?

Yes. I am.

Deb said...

heck, i'll vote for him now. and if he needs a running mate, boy, do i have a 15 year old jackass for you!

georgie said...

OMG OMG Jess can be the first lady right? cuz i would also look good in the white house! well actually black is more slimming but i will take the white house too... ok lets start planning the wedding

Mamahut said...

Yeah he's got my vote too. My 11 year old asked me the other day "guess how long it's been since I brushed my teeth?" I told him that's how many day's he will be grounded...turns out it was just yesterday. blech...boys are kinda strange eh?

Dawn said...

ROFL!!!! He is definitely a schmoozer. He ALMOST had me wanting to give him my camera! LOL

I'd vote for him! He's so cute and I love the name Cooper! Cooper is a great president name.

I am absolutely cracking up about his toothbrush being left in OK.

On a more serious note... could he have ADD?? A few of the things you mentioned are tell-tell signs. Of course, it could really be that he is lazy like you said.

Tell Coop I said hello and I'll vote for him in a few years. He has to be better than who we got running this time! And, you SOOOO would look good hanging out in the white house! LOL

careysue said...

What a charmer!

At least he can read!! That's a good thing. I used to have to ground my oldest daughter from reading...that was punishment to her...not reading! Too funny.

Paige said...

The sad news is that the skills he already has will probably get him further then the homework will.

Swirl Girl said...

He sounds not unlike our current president - no?

I'd vote for him for sure.

gingela5 said...

Try to remember us little people when your son is the president! And I occassionally have to ask my HUSBAND--have you brushed your teeth today?!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Shall I just put his name down as a write in candidate on Nov 4th? Works for me!!

My conferences are next week....Ugh

Thanks for making me smile Jill, I needed it!

Eudea-Mamia said...

A little tale to ease your worries.

Flashback, 30 something years ago to my mother having a conference with my brother's second grade teacher..."blah, blah, blah, will never succeed if he doesn't stop spending all of his time messing with cardboard while he should be paying attention in class."

Today, he's a very successful, highly published architect who owns his own firm.

By the way, his nickname in highschool, where he averaged more Cs than Bs, was Ferris, as in Ferris Buller. I totally hated him. Kidding, kind of.

Your son is going to do just fine, and will so get my vote! Can't he run now!?!?!

Em

NucMEd is Hot said...

I don't know about eleven days, but my children and I have that conversation....a lot

Anonymous said...

He doesn't have add. More than likely he is super smart and bored. Kids with ADD can't concentrate enough to be sustain marathon reading projects. If he can't manage the homework he gets, teachers should design homework, based on narrative responses and readings, rather than work sheets, that will engage him.
Tija

Ronda's Rants said...

He is so cute...be glad he likes to read...neither of my boys like to read...only the daughter!

Coloradolady said...

He is just adorable....man this post reminded me of my oldest in school and having to go to teacher confrences. I really did not look forward to it. 2 and 1/2 hrs. are really pretty short compared to some I have had to attend.... :)

Kritta22 said...

LOL 2.5 hours of conferences! He must have been sweating bullets at home!! I'll vote for him this year, wait isn't there a age limit or something.

Megryansmom said...

Hi it's the welcome wagon again, just to keep things interesting, I'll be randomly revisiting ALL the blogs in SSS. You can call it butt kissing too, just in case you have me as your partner, I want to make sure I've made a good impression.

How's Cooper's pronunciation? Does he say things like "you betcha"?

Deb said...

I want to go to the next conference. Since your bringing wine, I will bring cheese and crackers. Tell me when and where.

And the toothless one will be my first choice for candidate. Cause by that time, I too, will be toothless and feel like we have a common bond.
That and the fact that me and his mom shared a moment. In a crowded bar, back 28 years ago. Then Tiff came into the world and nothing was ever the same...

Scary Mommy said...

Goddamn blogger ate my thoughtful comment. My gist was that schmoozing will get him further than good grades ever will! And I forget what else I wrote and am too lazy to redo it.

Danielle said...

What is it with 12 year old boys and the not brushing the teeth thing?!

I really can't wait for mine to start kissing girls. Maybe he'll get it when the girls start passing out because of his breath!

:)

Nicole said...

OMG that is hilarious! I'm sorry I shouldn't be laughing. 11 days huh? Sounds like my child to the T. He is only 8, I can't wait for the rest of his years. Scary.

Jenn And The City said...

Yep, I'd vote for him now too. And who needs math anyway...
Jenn

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

My vote is for Cooper :o)

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Well, if he ran today he might just win. LOL.

My 18 year old should be a defense attorney - but he's too lazy.

nikkicrumpet said...

I GET DIBS ON THE LINCOLN BEDROOM!!! And the teeth thing made me laugh...so typical of boys. I swear my son would have NEVER brushed his teeth if I didn't threaten bodily harm. He is awfully cute...in fact he's convinced me to tell you to Lay off MOM!

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帳號的設計 要有什麼經驗
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方案 : 一ㄍ 【WRETCH】 categorization分類 TRANSFER->一ㄍ [BLOGSPOT] ID帳號








NATIONAL TAIWANUNIVERSITY
IWANNA

jill jill bo bill said...

Oh great. That post made some college student in Taiwan wretch. Is that illegal?

Ritch in Love said...

Seriously SO fuuny!!

Anna Lefler said...

OK, first of all, you have the coolest email address ever.

And I love this post. We too, are growing lots of little gummy corn kernels around here. I may just send them through the car wash with their mouths open (that way the hair gets take care of, too).

Awesome blog!

:^) Anna

Tiffany said...

I'll vote for a Jack-o-lantern. Oh no wait I won't. Shh remember my secret. LOL

Deb said...

You would pick out the best china for the White House. Of course, that is the First Lady's job, but you could knock her off pretty easily, I'm sure. First Mom sounds so much better.

My kids are only 10 and 7, so you are giving me a glimpse of the future. Pass the wine.

Megryansmom said...

I got that same Chinese comment. I deleted mine. Anyone else get it too?

amelia bedelia said...

his slogan could be..."they call me yuck mouth, cuz I don't brush...."

Annie said...

I specialized in kids like Cooper. Send him my way and I'll whip his little presidential ass in shape! :)

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Sounds like the sign of "too smart for this boring work". And that's why he smiled with his mouth closed right?? lol I have to go to Melissa's conference tomorrow.

binks said...

Are you sure they didn't clone my son and recreate him 6 years later? Sounds like Cab to a "T".
Can we just put him on the ballot now?
Those other 2? meh.

Justine said...

ROFL! 11 DAYS without brushing his teeth? Ewwwwwwww! Get that kid to the dentist ASAP! What kind of books does he like reading? And how come the teachers don't just snatch the books away from him? Hey, he could be the next Bill Gates!

Justine :o )

Julie said...

Dude totally has my vote!!!!

Debbie said...

Trying to catch up with my reader again! Love this post about Cooper. I just have one question: How can a kid read "too much"? He seems like a delight.

Mrs4444 said...

Loved this post... Isn't it awesome that he's charming, though? Imagine how much hell it would be if he wasn't. At least he's entertaining. :)

Brenda said...

He may not be doing awesome at school, but just think of all the potential he has in the real world!
Scmoozers make the best Presidents!

just a girl... said...

this is my son to a tee except for the reading part. He is 13 and a total schmoozer. Oh and the corn teeth I am glad my kid isnt the only one. Our biggest fights are over him not brushing his teeth. what gives.

just a girl... said...

this is my son to a tee except for the reading part. He is 13 and a total schmoozer. Oh and the corn teeth I am glad my kid isnt the only one. Our biggest fights are over him not brushing his teeth. what gives.

Elaine A. said...

He sounds like a better choice that the ones on the ballot next week.

LOVE the toothbrush part of this story. Love it.

Live More Now (LMN) said...

You are hilarious. Love the idea of wining with the teachers next time around - yay for bonding. :) and yay for teeth-brushing. Get that kid to start brushing or his teachers will stay entirely away because of the halitosis that no doubt will follow if the trend continues. But I guess if that leads to more wining, that's okay. :)

AmySprite said...

Ha! I have the six-year-old version of your Cooper! Charming and scattered, smart and lazy... I love your post!