Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Hump day

I want to announce that I have cooked for the last 10 days straight.
Good cookin'.
Meatloaf , real mashed potatoes, Ham, cornbread from scratch kinda cookin'.
And for 10 straight nights, my son, Cooper, has asked who is coming over.
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My husband and I split a bottle of wine Saturday night.
He had two glasses.
I had the rest.
I was celebrating my entrance back into Domestic Hell.
Actually I was drowning my sorrows because now it is expected.
Home-cooked meal each night=a bottle of wine each night.
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I think my dogs are gay. Seriously humping gay. They hump each other's back, legs, head, wherever they can. Incessently.
If they aren't humping, they are wrestling. Loud growling, banging into things wrestling. During my shows or while I am on the phone.
I was hoping after my boys moved out the wrestling would stop.
Now I have wrestling AND humping.
But I have never had to pay their car insurance, so I guess it all evens out.
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Deb and Julie both did this Four Things About Me thingy and I will do it because Julie begged me to play with her...she is hard-up and needing a little sumpin' sumpin'. And, well, I am slutty and always willing to please.

The Fab Four:

Places I go regularly: refrigerator, outside to sit on my porch, Sonic for a coke, bathroom because I drink a 44 oz-er.

Emails I receive regularly: some guy from Nigeria trying to give me money, Some Prime Minister from Ireland trying to give me money, Dr Lark trying to make me skinny and young looking, and my husband, who is in the same room as me...WTH?

Places I like to eat: Mexican Food places, Italian places, Seafood places, Steak places. I am so not picky. I actually am satisfied with Whataburger.

Places I would rather be right now: Back in bed, Amarillo with my family, Sitting on the beach (under a tarp of course since I freckle) with all my blogger buds, On a cruise ship going anywhere.

TV shows I watch regularly: Medium, Biggest Loser, American Idol, Heroes

P.S. Hi Jack!

35 comments:

Wheezer said...

You might just be setting a precedent that we all might have to follow:

Home Cooked Meal = Bottle of Wine

Can I skip the "Home" part?

PS: Your favorite TV shows have all the makings of a country western song...

"My American Idol is the biggest loser and only a medium hero"

Deb said...

That sounds like the perfect way to split a bottle of wine. If he doesn't finish the second glass, do you?
How cool are gay dogs. If they breed, can I have one? Oh wait..never mind.
So I guess I don't send enough emails to you if some guy from Nigeria, a Prime Minister from Ireland, and Dr Lark are #'s 1, 2 and 3.
I'll email you later - right now I'm hungry. Off to the kitchen.

Tiffany said...

I heard Whataburger is good. We don't have those down here. I mean come on. I need ANOTHER fast food place to eat. I can't be like you and cook EVERY night. Geez

Deb said...

sonic AND whataburger in one post??? are you torturing me on purpose, just because i am a guest. suddenly i am ready for your sister to return. i WAS liking you better, especially after the dog scene. mine do the same. and this weird fang-baring, open mouth kissing/biting thing.

anyway, up here, far from texas, we don't have sonic or whataburger. boohoo.

Annie said...

Happy cookin' sweet cheeks!

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

oh man it has been forever since I have had a Whattaburger!!

Gay dogs= no puppies :o)

Way to get out of cooking... drink the bottle of wine first
Jill the Domestic Goddess

The Mom said...

WAH, i'm missing my wine, but good for you miss homemaker dinner maker you!

Gay dogs...lol!

Julie Reeg said...

Oooh baby, thanks for playing. I need a cigarette now. You're that good!

gingela5 said...

Man, you're going all out with the cooking thing! My husband would be jealous! And I love, LOVE the Biggest Loser!

Kritta22 said...

I love finding little things out about you!!

Janie said...

I'm all for the beach, myself.

Don't forget your hard won cooking independence!

Just find the happy medium here...and I ain'ta talking 'bout the meatloaf...

Just sayin'.

Tenakim said...

So glad that you are so accepting of your dogs coming out the closet- how liberal of you!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Okay I laughed at your gay dogs!!

WOW I am impressed at your cooking streak! You DOMESTIC GODESS YOU! I made tacos the other night....another notch up on the board for me.

I love Biggest Loser & American Idol too!

GoteeMan said...

Hump Day, Indeed! Wow! You have amazing persistence! And home cooked every night? I have a suggestion - LEFTOVERS... Cook for 3 nights, eat leftovers for 2-3 more... and double the wine intake... and you should feel much less stress and much more happeeeeeeness... at least that's what I do...

J/ (goteeman.blogspot.com)

ShallowGal said...

Sometimes my husband and I sit in bed and IM each other.

xoxo, SG

Megryansmom said...

You cooked 10 days in a row? Wow, I'm impressed and a bit jealous. I made a pot of pasta fazol on Monday, it lasted til Tuesday. Today is Wed, now what?

Eudae-mamia said...

Hmmmmm - Sonic and Whataburger. Now you've done it.

I think I'll wake Prince L. a little early so that I can swing by and grab a Cherry Limeade before retrieving Prince E. from school.

It's the least I could do for the economy, and all.

Happy Hump Day yourself!

Em

Michelle said...

I'm impressed you cooked for 10 day in a row. The trick is to only cook every 3-4 days and then go out to eat. That was you keep them guessing if they will get home cooking or going out. I like that one home cooked meal - one bottle of wine. I need to try that.

Burgh Baby said...

Yeah, I have a couple of lesbian dogs in my house. Good times right there, especially when they decide to go at it when we actually do have company over. Good, good times.

tales from an O.C. cottage said...

I think all dogs are!!! Too funny

M ^..^

Jay @halftime lessons said...

I always like checking in on you Jill...but push anyone out of the way to have control of the wine...thats how I roll.

J

Ronda's Rants said...

We skip the home cooked meal and go straight for the bottle of wine!
My two female dogs wait until I am on the phone and then they try to kill each other or the cats...it is very organized ...they hear the phone ring... me answer... and then all hell breaks loose!!! Good times!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Gay dogs? ROFL!

binks said...

Don't think I am stalking just because I just spent, like, 4 hours, from work, reading your blog and have done precious little else.
Tears are streaming down my face and you all are a hoot and a half.

It helps to be a lousy cook. SO, my hubby wants to cook it his own damn self.
If the hubby doesn't cook, it's pop tarts or frosted flakes for me. (maybe that is why I can't loose weight).
AND, I miss Sonic from my Brenham days. Loooong ago.

Insane Mama said...

My kids email from the same room too, WTF? Sorry about that whole domestic hell thing, that sucks

Mamahut said...

Wouldn't it be cool if you could teach your humpy dogs to cook? You have to eat Hot dogs every night. Wine would be good with hot dogs right?

Farrago said...

Am I really the only one who noticed that you listed FIVE things in the List Of Fab Four?

SHEESH! Girls (and goteeman) can't count!

binks said...

Don't you worry - snarky, sarcastic,sardonic I am. Mushy, sappy, sweet and endearing....
only on occasion.
Excuse me for my moment of weekness. ;)

nikkicrumpet said...

UMMM when your hubby has to email you from the same room....you might be on the computer too much lol. And what is with all this home cooking??? Are you trying to make the rest of us look bad!

bj said...

Hi, Jill...I'm over by way of Nikki at Blah Blah Blah Blog...
reading thru your post here made me want to tell you that I live close to your parents in Amarillo...I live in Lubbock.
Also, when I read about you wanting to go on a cruise...I am going on my very first one and...I am 70!! How can you go thru life that far and never go on a cruise!!?? ANYWAY...i leave this weekend and going with my family of 14...we are gonna have such a blast....
love, bj

Marinka said...

I thought there were only 4 glasses in a bottle of wine-have I been using enormous glasses all these years? oops.

Let me know if your dogs start styling your hair.

Deb said...

Pictures! We need pictures!

No, not of your yummy meals that will make us all look bad. Pics of your dogs goin' at it!

Hehe.

Linda S said...

We have a gay dog/cat relationship going on. I guess you love them anyway.

I left you a present on my blog...with stipulations....of course I'm a pushover an you can have it anyway....but if you could...if you would.....

bj said...

ooo, Jill...I just spent 35 minutes (that I COULD have been doing things to get ready for this fabulous cruise I am going on in 3 days) reading your blog and I have spit coffee out on my screen 6 times, p'd pants a little 8 1/2 times and laughed OUT LOUD too many times to count. You are such a hoot...who else in this whole entire world would post about their dog humping all over the place??? Love ya, girl...
bj

NucMEd is Hot said...

Gay humping dogs! That's awesome