Friday, October 31, 2008

I HAVE SURVIVED

I am back from our four day shopping extravaganza and completely exhausted! My aunt and mom are in training for the shopping Olympic team and both have their times within reach for the gold and silver medals. Thank God I had my 82 year old grandmother to use as an excuse to walk slowly and sit a lot. Mom survived a luggage cart near-death experience when, as we were steering the fully loaded cart. she was on the side and at the next moment was pinned between the brick column and the cart. All I heard was this small voice whimpering, "Oh, wait! Wait! I'm stuck." Since we are so compassionate, it took us a while to stop laughing and move the cart.

Here we are in Fredericksberg, at 9 AM ready to be the first customers for all 280 stores. I took this one of my aunt Debbie, my Gammy, and my mom. Mom's head was fine after the run-in with the brick column.
This is my Gammy. I am happy to announce that shopping tired her out too much to voice her opinion about the political race and no democrat was offended on this trip. Which is a good thing, since I was so sore from walking 12 miles at the damn outlet mall that never ends, that there is no way I could have protected her from any bodily threats. But who would want to hurt this beautiful face? She made us laugh so hard with her conversations to herself ,not to mention her immodesty. But I can promise if I had no cellulite and stretch marks, I would walk around with nothing on but a shower cap in my hotel in front of my daughters and granddaughter, talking to myself as well. (Crap, who am I kidding? I would probably do it front of strangers.)
Here are the gold and silver medalists for the shopping team. None of us quit laughing and smiling, especially as we sat waiting for our food. I smiled the biggest because I was able to sit and eat. My two favorite things.
We took my aunt's car since her SUV was being used on a hunting trip by my uncle and cousin. So this was our trunk after all the bargains we found.
This was my passenger seat on the FIRST day of shopping. It got worse, trust me. I was scheduled for a double leg amputation just for the trip home.
This was my mom's seat. The barrier between her and Gammy was my Christmas present. So it was very important that neither one of them got dessert on the last day. We needed every square inch. It's called sacrifice, people.
This is my Gammy's seat. As long as she could reach the Kleenex box, all was good.
This is where I TRIED to sit, but since I cannot drive with a steering wheel impaling my gut, my teeny tiny aunt Debbie had to drive. There was no room to scoot the seat back. Or so they said...
This was where I rode home on the two hour trip home. On my left bun. Propped up with my left wrist. But I still had an antique phone mouthpiece jabbing into my thigh. One ringy dingy.
"Gammy, are you still okay back there?"
Mom buried in sacks and boxes, still working her real estate deals over the hone. Just don't break my Christmas present!!!!
So glad to be back and on my computer. MUST GO READ YOUR POSTS OVER THE LAST FOUR DAYS!!!!!! I love y'all and missed you so!

43 comments:

Annie said...

Oh, my, lord. That is some serious shopping! I LOVE IT!
My favorite little outlet experience is in San Marcos!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

GOod lord.. you guys were HIGHLY successful!!!

Lovin me some Grammy there!!!

Mrs Parks said...

YOUR HOME!!!!

I'm glad to see that you and the ladies in your family are doing your part to support the economy!

What you have done and the sacrafice you made (being squoze in the car for two hours) is MORE than patriotic.

I'm glad you had fun, and you didn't miss much around here, the place has been pretty quiet.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

What's in the bags?
What didja get?
Didja get me anything?

Oh hi glad your'e back!

careysue said...

You have such a great family!!!

How much fun is that, I would of loved to of been a fly on the wall with you guys all cuttin up for two days!!

Welcome home! :)

Eudea-Mamia said...

Glad you're home safe and sound, and in relatively good health - you guys amaze me. No need for working airbags.

Thanks for making the rest of us Texas Ladies proud. Take note the rest of y'all - THAT is how we can jump start this economy! One outlet mall at a time.

Now, I'm off to down a fifth of whatever's-in-the-cabinet to shake the image of shower cap granny.

Em

Sidney (Sixy Mama) said...

Oh my God...you guys sound EXACTLY like my family...love (well, not really, but you know what I mean, with your sick sense of humor and all) that your mom got her head wedged and y'all laughed...that is SO us!

Gammy looks adorable, and like someone I wouldn't want to cross in a dark alley.....

Danielle said...

Looks like you "crammed" a lot into four days of shopping! lol..I'm a nerd.

Seriously though, that is some packing to be proud of!

Tiffany said...

So which oe of those bags is for me? LOL

I HATE shopping all day. My SIL could shop 24/7 if she could.

Ronda's Rants said...

This Democrat would never be upset by anything that beautiful woman could say...she looks fabulous!!! I am gald you had fun and it looks like it was very productive...we missed you...Happy Halloween!!!

georgie said...

YAY your home! now what did ya buy me????

Geesh i cant believe ya'll werent pulled over!

I missssssssssed you muches and your sis was MIA all week i am startin to worry tht she got mistaken for a johnnie and was eaten!

LOVED the pics you shop-aholics!
I was crackin up at grammy thinkin she was in a nudist colony at the hotel room and glad mom is Okay!


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

gingela5 said...

Wowzers--looks like you got a TON of shopping in! Sounds like you had a blast!

Tenakim said...

thank god you're back and not smothered from that trip- you should have rented a Winnebago!

Linda S said...

those were some great pics...I need to shop with someone who will walk slow and sit with me...glad you are back!!

Ginger said...

Hi Jill:
Hey, you could of tied Granny in a rocking chair on the roof of the car. I saw that in a movie once. Oh wait...that granny was dead.
(it was a Chevy Chase movie). Just kidding...it looks like you all had (talking to all you gals from Texas has rubbed off) a great time.
Got your Christmas shopping done now?
Missed your blogs.
Ginger

countrygirl3031 said...

Oh my gosh...you are some fun girls to go shopping with. Love all the pictures...especially of all the stuff in the car!

Hugz,
Michele

Mamahut said...

Oh my gosh I wish I had family that would shop with me like that. I think I must come from a frugal family...I don't think that is the word I wanted to use...
Glad your back!

Dawn said...

OMG! You all were loaded! Glad you made it home safe and sound.

Happy Halloween! :)

Megryansmom said...

What did you buy me? A Flip? Welcome home!

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

Way to give the economy a boost
Looks as if fun was had by all ever thought about using a u-haul trailer?? lol
Happy Halloween :o)

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I hope you are my secret santa because it looks like there is some good stuff in there wink..wink :)

Looks like you guys had some fun shopping. I am loving your free spirit Grammy!!

Dee said...

Welcome home. It looks like a total success.

Julie said...

So glad you're back!!!! Missed you much! Is my Xmas present in there somewhere? Is it that Coach purse? Please say it's the Coach purse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ladyfi said...

Good heavens - talk about shopping! Personally I hate shopping so thanks for doing more than enough to cover my lack...

Liza said...

omg, this is hysterical!! I love Granny's forehead sticking out from the back of all the bags, lol. That is championship shopping if I ever saw it! :)

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Fredericksburg has outlets now? I'm a San Marcos gal, myself - but I see the attempt to personally stimulate the economy was successful.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Wow!! Nice haul!!! What did you get for me????

Ronda's Rants said...

Jilly...you won my give-away...you may quote the movie while playing!!! Congratulations and a very Happy Halloween!!!

Kritta22 said...

Oh my gosh!! You guys are sooooooo funny! I would have loved to come! I'd walk around with a shower cap on too! Shake that thang gammy!!

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Welcome Home! Glad to hear you survived AND that you had some fun too.

Burgh Baby said...

Holy crap! Y'all really did take that little trip very seriously. Next time I'm thinking you should take a Winnebago.

nikkicrumpet said...

So glad you're back...I needed a good laugh. And your family buried in packages is pretty dang funny. SHEESH you ladies may have fixed the economy in one shopping trip!!!! Glad you're home safe and had a great time with your beautiful family!

binks said...

I must say you are a brave woman to spend that many days shopping in a neverending outlet mall.
So glad you're back, been missing your funny wit.
Thanks for the comments, you had me lauging my butt off. BTW, you can come on vacation with us any time. We are doing Vegas next week. Hope there are no haunted rooms or buses.

Deb said...

Woo hoo!!! How fun!!! I too, cannot be squished into a steering wheel.

Debbie said...

Good heavens. I couldn't shop like that ever. I'm heading off to take a nap after just looking at your pictures.

Justine said...

Jill girl, you totally crack me up! This was a great commentary of your power shopping. Man, you've got a family of BEAUTIFUL women. Did you say your grandmother is in her 80s? She's HOT!!!!!!

Justine :o )

Justine said...

OMG! I just realized something horrible. Horrible I say!!!!! I am NOT on your blog roll. Now how can that be? Have I not shown you enough comment love or something? Does my blog totally suck ass???????

Justine :o )

Soxy Deb said...

Awesome. I can only assume one of those packages also contains MY Christmas present. Can't wait to see what it is.

Heather said...

Oh, Man. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

Elaine A. said...

Glad to see you ladies are doing your part to keep the economy going...

Jill said...

Just stopping to say hello. My sister Justine sent me! My van looked just as bad this weekend after I went garage sale hopping with Justine. I don't know how I fit everything in my car. Thanks for the laugh! Now I know why Justine loves reading your blog!

Rhonda said...

I'm glad you had a great time! I totally would have used Granny too! Shopping is so not my gig!

I have yet to have a girls weekend! And I'm 36! How sad is that!

Annette Piper said...

Well, that puts my paltry shopping efforts to shame! Well done to all concerned. But I think you need a bigger vehicle next time.... you could always take a trailer?