I HAVE SURVIVED

I am back from our four day shopping extravaganza and completely exhausted! My aunt and mom are in training for the shopping Olympic team and both have their times within reach for the gold and silver medals. Thank God I had my 82 year old grandmother to use as an excuse to walk slowly and sit a lot. Mom survived a luggage cart near-death experience when, as we were steering the fully loaded cart. she was on the side and at the next moment was pinned between the brick column and the cart. All I heard was this small voice whimpering, "Oh, wait! Wait! I'm stuck." Since we are so compassionate, it took us a while to stop laughing and move the cart.

Here we are in Fredericksberg, at 9 AM ready to be the first customers for all 280 stores. I took this one of my aunt Debbie, my Gammy, and my mom. Mom's head was fine after the run-in with the brick column.
This is my Gammy. I am happy to announce that shopping tired her out too much to voice her opinion about the political race and no democrat was offended on this trip. Which is a good thing, since I was so sore from walking 12 miles at the damn outlet mall that never ends, that there is no way I could have protected her from any bodily threats. But who would want to hurt this beautiful face? She made us laugh so hard with her conversations to herself ,not to mention her immodesty. But I can promise if I had no cellulite and stretch marks, I would walk around with nothing on but a shower cap in my hotel in front of my daughters and granddaughter, talking to myself as well. (Crap, who am I kidding? I would probably do it front of strangers.)

Here are the gold and silver medalists for the shopping team. None of us quit laughing and smiling, especially as we sat waiting for our food. I smiled the biggest because I was able to sit and eat. My two favorite things.

We took my aunt's car since her SUV was being used on a hunting trip by my uncle and cousin. So this was our trunk after all the bargains we found.

This was my passenger seat on the FIRST day of shopping. It got worse, trust me. I was scheduled for a double leg amputation just for the trip home.

This was my mom's seat. The barrier between her and Gammy was my Christmas present. So it was very important that neither one of them got dessert on the last day. We needed every square inch. It's called sacrifice, people.

This is my Gammy's seat. As long as she could reach the Kleenex box, all was good.

This is where I TRIED to sit, but since I cannot drive with a steering wheel impaling my gut, my teeny tiny aunt Debbie had to drive. There was no room to scoot the seat back. Or so they said...

This was where I rode home on the two hour trip home. On my left bun. Propped up with my left wrist. But I still had an antique phone mouthpiece jabbing into my thigh. One ringy dingy.

"Gammy, are you still okay back there?"

Mom buried in sacks and boxes, still working her real estate deals over the hone. Just don't break my Christmas present!!!!

So glad to be back and on my computer. MUST GO READ YOUR POSTS OVER THE LAST FOUR DAYS!!!!!! I love y'all and missed you so!