Monday, October 20, 2008

WHO?!?

As I have previously informed you, I LOVE ME SOME OLD PEOPLE!!! And the older I get, the older "old" gets. (It's 80 now)

I was reminded this weekend of a funny story, since my husband, Rick, is suffering from a head cold and can't hear. So for the last two days I have felt like I was married to my great grandmother Bentley. After he would moan about how bad he felt (all 397 times), I would respond and have to repeat myself, which reminded me of this:

When I was married to my kid's dad, and he was a preacher,(NO, me being a preacher's wife is NOT the funny story, although I could write a book on it) we would go visit people in the hospital. We went one day to see the retired organist of our church who was extremely hard of hearing. So hard of hearing in fact, that when she still played the organ, she would sit on her bench during the sermon and lay her arm or Bible on the keyboard and emit notes that equalled 500 decibels but didn't realize she was doing it. Here we would be listening, then BRRRRR and all eyes would turn to her. She was oblivious. I loved it! And since she did it EVERY SUNDAY MORNING, it got to be my favorite part of the sermon. I cried when she retired.

She had to go into the hospital and had a semi-private room. We visited for a minute then she asked me, "Who is playing the organ now?"
me: "Maurine Erwin"
her: "Who?"
me: "MAURINE ERWIN"
her: "WHO?!"
me: Maurine Erwin!!!"
her: "Honey, I can't hear you. WHO?"
me: "MAURINE ERWIN!!!!!"
her: "Oh...Maurine Erwin...hmmmm...don't believe I know her."

Then we talk a little more, then again she would ask, "So, who is playing the organ now?"
me: "Maurine Erwin"
her: "Who?"
me: "MAURINE ERWIN!!"
her: "Maurine Erwin. Hmmm...Don't believe I know her."

The lady in the next bed would just laugh and I would giggle and be all preacher's wifey and smile and think she is so cute, but damn, she is getting Dementia. But I never let on. I had an image to uphold. So her and the preacher would talk and then she would turn to me and ask me again, "Honey, who is playing the organ now?" And we went through this FIVE times. I was beginning to look for paper and markers so when she asked me again, I could just hold up the sign with MAURINE ERWIN written on it.

On the fifth time she asks me, "Honey, who is playing the organ now?"
me AND her roommate scream, "MAURINE ERWIN!!!!!!!"
To which she responds, "Maurine Erwin. Maurine Erwin. Hmmm. I've heard of her."

By the way, her husband was completely blind. And the bus mechanic for the church. But that's another story....


45 comments:

Sidney said...

I should know by now not to read your blog so early in the morning with a cup of coffee....

That's hysterical!

Huh? Did you say something??

Jay @halftime lessons said...

LOL...this instantly reminds me not being able to hear my wife,as she tends to be a lowtalker...or maybe I'm 93 years old...

Jay

Jay @halftime lessons said...

BTW...
Starting a new tradition today...The pessimistic Monday Prize...come see!

georgie said...

mr gp pulls this crap with me all the time! I am buying him a hearing aide for Christmas

Janie said...

Girl, you are too freakin' funny.

Hope Rick gets better. I mean, HOPE RICK GETS BETTER!

Later gator.

Kgirl said...

Totally relate. My step-pop is hard of hearing so we all have to yell to talk to him and when my mom is around anyone else she is barking out the conversation to which my daughter has determined that all "old people talk loud"...Love the post

Chris said...

Now that's a funny story

Hugs,
Chris

Ronda's Rants said...

Oh Dear Jesus...that is funny!
It reminds me of Sunday morning...only it's the Hubby and I getting ready to go!
Only he is hard of hearing and I am getting dementia!
He says "What?" and I say "Who?"
Good times!

Ronda's Rants said...

Oh...I hope Hubby feels better soon!

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL you have the best stories...or maybe you just know how to tell em! I always get a kick out of coming here. You should post 4 or 5 times a day...don't be such a slacker for heck sakes!

Tiffany said...

That sounds like my mother-in-law. She can hear but she forgets and asks the same question over and over. Maybe cuz she's doped up on meds. Huh? What?

Diane said...

Thanks! I needed a chuckle to start out my Monday morning! My mom plays the 'What?!' card all the time, which drives me nuts, as I'm sure she can hear me. So I repeat what I said at exactly the same level (sometimes even quieter), usually walking away from her ('cause like I said, she drives me nuts) and she hears me! I knew it!

gingela5 said...

haha...what a double whammy--deaf and can't remember. And I had to laugh at the husband complaining 357 times. Why when they're sick do they get to lay around and be sad and when we're sick we still have to cook, clean and run the house?! And I use the term "sick" very loosely--my hubby can have a headache and it turns into a terminal illness!

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

LOL!

Deb said...

Hahaha!! Of course she's heard of her - you told her 14 times.

Sorry Rick is feeling poorly, sick hubbies suck.
Mike is suicidal today since the Sox lost. Men also suck when they taking sporting losses so personally. Retards.

careysue said...

I love that story!! I could listen to you all day.

I love old people.

My Grandmother was hard of hearing and she would answer everything with a...That's nice, and a big smile, no matter what you said!


It must be the morning to remember stories, Rhonda has a cute one as well, over at--A day in Rhonda's life, go read it!

Deb said...

funny story. however, i am just not going to let the whole preacher's wife thing slip by so easily. more details, please...

Jennifer Suarez said...

A preacher's wife? For serious?! Well that IS part of the funny story in my book. Ah how things change :-)

Maurine Erwin - if anyone googles her name they will be sure to find your page after so many references. What a funny story!

Shannon said...

Oh, I love that her roommate joined in at the end! LOL!

Julie said...

Awwwww! OMG, that was a hoot.

Eudea-Mamia said...

You're so right on what you consider "old." My parents are debating when it's time to move out of their house into some type of garden home - they're thinking about 70 (they're in their mid 60s). That was until I reminded them that they are voting for a man that is 72. Suddenly they're acting like teenagers - ala Cocoon. Very odd.

Oh, and on the sick hubby note, please follow this link to Wep and her youtube video on how men handle being sick. Warning: pee BEFORE you watch.

http://wepruminations.blogspot.com/search/label/sick

Em

Ritch in Love said...

My hubby and I live in the city of Salt Lake and in our building there are more than a handful of old people. My favorite is Mrs. Chammbers, across the hall. Every time she sees us she asks us how long we've lived in the building and then every single time she leaves a note on our door telling us about some couple "our age" (they are about 50 years old. We're 30 and 35. Not that age matters...but really?!) that we should meet. It's a miracle she remembers to take her poodle for a walk every day...of course there is a reason why the carpet in our hallway smells so...shall we say gross?
(Noticed you're in BFE TX. What a coincidence, my stepkids live in Middle of Nowhere Texas!)

marie6 said...

This is hilarious, glad I dropped by from binks' blog.

Elaine A. said...

I super puffy heart old people.

And I adore this story...

Justine said...

Heeheeheee! You definitely have a lot of patience, that's for sure! After the first time I would have gotten out a notebook and a Sharpie!

Justine :o )

Dawn said...

YOU were a preacher's wife?!?!?? Bwahahahahaha!!! I think I just pee'd a little!

Funny story, as always! It's a good thing you have someplace to write all these down. And, we appreciate that we get to read them!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Preacher's wife? Getta outta here!

That story of Maurine Erwin reminds me of the tumor conference at my job last week. Someone's hearing aid battery was dead and it beeped and squealed for the whole hour. Poor dear didn't have a clue but everyone in the room did!

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Who?

Jenni Jiggety said...

LOL! My mom is deaf so I have lived a lifetime of repeating myself. I have a blog post brewing about it...

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

A blind bus mechanic..bbaahahahaha

SAY WHAT??????

Rhea said...

A blind bus mechanic and a deaf organist? Are you kidding?! That's hilarious.

Cheryl said...

LMBO! I read thru your posts and boy to you bring a smile to my face. Thank you,
Cheryl

Swirl Girl said...

what a dynamic duo they must have made.

my mom is deaf (though she is loathe to admit it), and my dad had selective hearing. He selected when he was going to listen to her and when he wasn't.

Ginger said...

LMAO (how I wish I really could)
You should write a book and combine all these stories in it. You are a great story teller.
My hubby has trouble hearing (or so he claims when I talk to him). The tv is blasting all the time and it drives me nuts. But when I am talking real quiet on the phone to my daughter and he is in the other room he chimes in. Hmm, not so deaf after all.
Ginger

Debbie said...

I seem to follow you all over the blogosphere comment world so I decided to pop in and say hi. Love this post and that little old lady.

Pennies In My Pocket said...

Just one question, Who's Maurine Erwin? lol

This is hilarious! Oh man. Too bad i have this type of conversation with my own mother and she's only 69. lol

~melody~

Rhonda said...

Oh my! Do you think poor Maurine Erwin knows that her name has just been yelled all around the world? lol

You divorced a preacher? Is that even allowed?

Oh, and did you watch the man-cold video I had on my blog a week or so ago? That makes me roll around on the floor in the fetal position laughing my face off! lol And do you know how hard it is to "roll" in the "fetal position"?? Only bouts of absolute hysteria make it possible!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

My favorite old people thing is when they loudly fart and can't hear it due to the lack of hearing and think it was silent. Happens ALL the TIME!

nikkicrumpet said...

Duh...Gus was the first poor abused doggie on our rescue list!!!! And what you doing working when you have posts to write!!!!

Mamahut said...

Ha ha the bus mechanic...I think I take my car to his brother!

Mrs Parks said...

I LOve this story and it reminds me of SO many with my Grammy and Grampy this last few years.
After a while I would just start to make stuff up or pretend like I was talking when I really wasn't.
Good times.

Preachers Wife?

Diva Ma said...

LMAO! Found you at jiggety Jig's page! That woman reminds me of my great grandmother the first time I met her. I heard a story about her daughter working at Notre Dame about 32 times before we left that day!

dana wyzard said...

I was so happy this morning. I had slept the entire night due to the fact that my back was better, allowing me to SLEEP. Then I came to your site FIRST. (see how much mommy loves you?) Luckily, I was still on guard where my back was concerned, so I was laughing VERY carefully. I really enjoyed this.

Sarah Solomon said...

hi-larious! I needed something funny to get my day going!

HappyHourSue said...

OMG that's hilarious. I mean, I feel bad for her, but what a great story.

p.s. great political post up top - I can't say anything on my blog because I'm a (shhhhh!) MCCain supporter. Seems like the whole blogosphere is pro-Obama. Just wish it was OVER already.