To the golfers that were playing hole 7 behind my house early this morning:
I apologize for inadvertent crotch shot you received from me. I was trying to enjoy the early morning weather and the steaming cup of coffee when my spasticness caused me to spill my coffee down my new snowman gown and then almost tip backward in my rocking chair.
My OB/GYN told me 20 years ago to not sleep in panties to reduce the yeast infections. Just FYI, I have never had a yeast infection since.
I promise any hole(s) shot you got besides the anticipated one on the golf course, was just lucky for you. I normally do not give them out if I am not wearing your ring. Please forgive me and do not expect any further shows.
I am now taking my overweight self with 3rd degree burns inside to put on pants and have facial reconstruction surgery in case I see you at the grocery store. But I am pretty sure you weren't looking at my face.
Swimsuit Confidence: Year Six
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