To the golfers that were playing hole 7 behind my house early this morning:
I apologize for inadvertent crotch shot you received from me. I was trying to enjoy the early morning weather and the steaming cup of coffee when my spasticness caused me to spill my coffee down my new snowman gown and then almost tip backward in my rocking chair.
My OB/GYN told me 20 years ago to not sleep in panties to reduce the yeast infections. Just FYI, I have never had a yeast infection since.
I promise any hole(s) shot you got besides the anticipated one on the golf course, was just lucky for you. I normally do not give them out if I am not wearing your ring. Please forgive me and do not expect any further shows.
I am now taking my overweight self with 3rd degree burns inside to put on pants and have facial reconstruction surgery in case I see you at the grocery store. But I am pretty sure you weren't looking at my face.
Sincerely,
I Dare You's...
6 days ago
50 comments:
Nice Jill....but your Mother always told you to wear clean underwear didn't she?
We live on a lake...sometime fishermen get more than the fish for around here!
I am frickin crying over here.
They are probably very grateful to you for adding a little spice to such a boring game!
LOL Seriously the tears are rolling down my face!
I TOLD you to wear your UNDERPANTS!
Now a bunch of poorly dressed old white men have seen your goods.
I wish I was you SSS, I know what I'd get you for Christmas.
OMG, Jill! That's hilarious!! Good thing I wasn't holding a cup of coffee when I read it! Bravo, Friend.
Jilldo,
I'm sure you upped their game chat for the day. Good deed done.
Annie
LMFAO-oh lordy...jess just said 'some strange boys saw jills po-po?' dear thanks for the giggle jill!
That gives new meaning to the expression ' A hole in one'
ps- why did the golfer get new pants? Because he had a hole in one!
hey, no need to apologize... it was great - awesome in fact - and we'll be back next week same time if you're so inclined.
that was me...you don't have perverts lurking...well, you may, but I don't think they saw your hoohoo!
OMG! that's too funny!
OH.......MY...........HECK! I haven't laughed that hard in I don't know when. I won't have to do an ab crunch for the rest of my life....all the belly laughing has given me a 6 pack. You are a SCREAM! And not just when you spill coffee. I love you...there I said it. And I don't care if that makes me strange and a bit creepy. You're just freaking to much fun!
OH my gosh...LOL LOL that is hysterical but I hope you are o.k.
LOL LOL LOL that was the best.
OMG, that is freaking hilarious!!! When I was NINE MONTHS pregnant with Ben, our house was being renovated. I was in the glass shower and look out the window to see three guys at my eye level working on the windows. I just stood there in total shock for way too long. It was AWFUL!!!
you are so witty!
how many rings do you wear? don't you just have 10 fingers like everybody else?
so you really believe that whole no panties thing or do you just use it as an excuse? my mom told me the same thing, but i just can't go there.
hope you are coming up with a name for our club!
Something you will always remember! It makes for a good story now and in 20 years!! LOL
Why do you think they raised the green fees? The view was in demand.
Oh, girl, you always make me laugh. I was showing some people how Zanna always retrieves the frisbee and chunked it out hard for her - so hard I...ummm...passed gas.
We all had a good laugh.
But, yeah. It was embarrassing.
Look on the bright side, if they're looking at your face they won't recognize you. Unless of course you've grown a beard today.
Nicely done, Jill! LOL! Now all the golfers are going to be loitering around you house!
Go back out in the morning and see if they came back! Take the video camera k? That's a bummer about your new snowman robe. ;)
Just to make you feel better, I was out feeding in my jammies the other morning...no bra...crocks on the feet...coke bottle glasses on and a truck full of lost hunters pull up and ask directions. I wanted to die and move.
We also have a golf course that have seen some "love" from me, but not WITHOUT UNDERWEAR for pete's sake! Can you find out if their game improved at that point?
Great ending to my day!!
Hey...don't worry about calling me back.....................................................................................................
Kinda gives new meanting to the term, "Hole in one", doesn't it? I'm sorry, Jill, but I must tell you that, unlike me, you have NO class. ROFLMAO!!!!!!! Put on some damn panties! The hoo hoo doesn't need THAT much air-time!
Justine :o )
Oh shit, was just reading the comments and saw that me and Swirl Girl had the same thought!
Justine :o )
I'm sure they slowed their golf game down really slow to watch the next peek preview.
Weren't you told to put on clean and non holy undies in case you end up in the emergency room and you wouldn't be embarrassed? That's what my mom told me!
Damn! Just when I think I'm finally through with the game and can toss my clubs, you post this!
And, for what it's worth, I don't wear panties to sleep in, either.
Cute Post!!!!!
why am I thinkin theres going to be a traffic jam at hole 7 tomorrow...did today's crowd at least have the decency to applaud?
Well, I just about spit my cappucino on the computer screen:) Totally sounds like something I would do.
So that's what is so fascinating about golf. I've always wondered. Now I know.
Jenn
I hope your crotch burns are better today and I have a really SWEET award for you!
wonder if they allowed do overs on that shot lmao
My doctor told me the same thing - so I do Al Fresco too, just not on the golf course. Everywhere else though.
Coffee really doesn't have the same effect when not taken internally does it?
OMG! OMG! I have no words, which is so rare for me! I'm laughing way too fricking hard to come up with a single witty comment!
a little church chat over your way here I see too! Ha! Oh my dear, now we know it all about you.
As for your bag order??!! I'm still a go until Dec. 1st to take orders. If you are serious let me know!
ROFL! Hole in one!
You know you gave them the thrill of their lives!! I hope your lady parts aren't too burned!
Hilarious. Sooo - is it slouchy hats and dark glasses at the grocery store from now on?
I've always wondered how not wearing underpants to bed helped with not getting yeast infections.
Maybe if you slept with your legs outside the window so some fresh air could circulate, I could understand. But then, I do just fine using my personal portable fan. OUCH!
haha...I'm sure those golfers were loving it! I'm sure their score went dramatically UP on that hole (pun totally intended)
LMAO! You are too funny!
PS - My OBGYN gave me the same advice. Me (and hubby) find it to be quite sound (and fun!) advice.
Ha ha ha. I doubt you need to apologize to any man that caught a peek.
hahahahaha **deep breaths** hahahah
ok, i'm done. so sorry about that, i do hope you are ok!! i guess you're going to have golfers out there 24/7 from now on, huh?? lol hugs and prayers...
HA HA HA AHA HAHA AHA HAAA!!! Trust me, unless you go shooping naked, they won't know you if they saw you again!
First the curtains and now this. I think I see a pattern forming here.
Me thinks that your secret passion for pole dancing is starting to shine through.
I'll bet they talked about that hole in one all day long!
I just spit coffee all over my screen laughing. Thats just plain funny, I don't care who you are.
Post a Comment