Monday, November 24, 2008

"We Apologize For Any Inconvenience This Delay May Cause You"

Let me go down on record by saying that a perfectly wonderful vacation can be pissed away on the flight home

WHEN...

1. The plane you are scheduled to fly across the ocean on has 1.5 hours worth of maintenance prior to your boarding it.
2. That 1.5 hour of NECESSARY maintenance made you miss your connecting flight.
3. You are put up for the night in a hotel that has ONE person driving the shuttle to and from the airport to pick up the 60 some-odd stranded passengers and because you are pushed and shoved out of the way, don't make it to your hotel room until after midnight.
4. You have no clean clothes because you have checked everything in your carry on that was of necessity for the duty-free booze and cigarettes you purchased for Christmas presents prior to knowing that you MIGHT NEED that make up and deodorant because nothing says Merry Christmas like Cirrhosis of the Liver and Lung Cancer.
5. You have received a meal voucher and, again, because it is after midnight, don't get to use it because the hotel restaurant is closed.
6. The hotel restaurant doesn't open until 6:30am, but your flight leaves at 7am...meaning no breakfast either.
7. When finally arriving to your destination city to find out your luggage is lost.
8. If I hear one more person tell me they are sorry because they inconvenienced me I.WILL.CHOKE.THEM.
9. And my ankles swelled because I think I am in renal failure and now have Congestive Heart Failure from all the alcohol consumed...
10. But, I am back.

WHOO HOO!!!!

I am home!!!!

Let me catch my breath and find my camera. I have so much to share.

Preview:
1. The ship we sailed on was haunted.
2. Tiff and 3D- you cursed me, I know you did!!!!

Confused?! I will fill you in tomorrow. Or tonight, if I get my act together.


49 comments:

The Mom said...

Holy crap what a trip home! Glad you made it safe at least and look forward to more stories!

Soxy Deb said...

LOVE YOU!!!!

I am so fricking happy your back. And cant wait to get the smokes you bought me (lol).

LOVE YOU!!!!

It's really quiet pathetic how much I missed you.....

Swirl Girl said...

I will not say the word 'orry-say' because I don't want to get throttled.

Can't wait to 'see' the good stuff about the trip!

We missed you!

Lori said...

Oh wow! Can't wait to hear the rest of this saga!

georgie said...

YAY your home!!! I missed you muches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs Parks said...

Welcome Home!!

Megryansmom said...

Welcome home!

Diane said...

Wow. Too bad your drinking didn't take place on the flight home. Glad you made it safe and sound (albeit ever-so-slightly inconvenienced ;).

Deb said...

yay yay yay! You're back.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

(Dancing with joy)

She's back, she's back!!!!
She brought us booze and cigarettes!
WELCOME HOME!

Deb said...

praise.the.lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kritta22 said...

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad you are home now!
You, Jill the nurse, bought cigs and alcohol for Christmas presents?? Are you the beneficiary to their life insurance?

Elaine A. said...

Sorry that getting home was a B!tch, but at least you're home. Can't wait to hear more about your "haunted" trip!

AJ said...

Well, after all that, I'm glad you made it back in one piece. And that you aren't rocking yourself back and forth in a padded room;) Can't wait to hear about the haunted ship!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Aside from saying the S word...did they give you any monetary freebies for your inconvenience? Sheesht, I would've taken the towels, the comforters, the booze, the soap, shampoo, the shower curtain...anything to make it all better! LOL

Welcome back!!

Tenakim said...

yeah- welcome home!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Welcome home! Sorry the ending got a little crapped up on you, there...

Julie said...

Aw, you brought me booze and cigarettes? I love you.

Welcome back!

Jay @halftime lessons said...

Glad youre back! Missed you!!
MISSION: Monday today...come get entered for the Mommy Bling!

Dawn said...

Yay!! I'm so glad you are FINALLY home!

Can't wait to see pictures!

Ronda's Rants said...

So glad you are home...I am always amazed by the airlines...always! :)

Michelle said...

glad your back! Wow! sounds like quite a trip.

Lisa L said...

And my ankles swelled because I think I am in renal failure and now have Congestive Heart Failure from all the alcohol
My ankles ALWAYS swell on airplane journeys and it freaks me the hell out each and every time! CHF? Renal failure? Yikes. Something about flying, and dependent edema and yadda yadda...not fun. Drink lots of fluids to try and pee it off.

Annie said...

I feel you. I was stuck on a plane ON THE GROUND in HOT ASS MEXICO for 1.5 hours. We took off and I was STUCK A-FREAKIN-GIN in Dallas for another 1.5 hours ON THE GROUND. I almost pretended to have a bomb just to get off the damn plane. No luggage, stuck over night....10 pm...... feel you. Flashbacks.....not good.

Mamahut said...

You know what? Deb and georgie have been mysteriously absent all weekend....are you sure they weren't there punking you? The video's will probably hit you tube soon.

Ginger said...

Glad you made it home in one piece (well except for the piece of mind you gave someone) lol.
Thats why I don't fly!!! Well, that and the fact that I am terrified of flying. Terrified I am going to sit on that closed in cyclinder with no air conditioning waiting for over 2 hours to take off.
I bet you have some great stuff to blog about.
Ginger

bj said...

Can't wait to hear all about everything...DANG...that was some trip home!! Terrible!!
bj

careysue said...

I'm with everyone, can't wait to hear your stories!!!

Welcome home.

Debbie said...

Wait - there are side effects from alcohol consumption? Who knew?

Danielle said...

Sounds like vacation to me!!!

Jill said...

Hi Jill I am glad you made it back because your sister was about to lose it with out you hear! My sister Justine has me hooked on the two of your blogs so now I am following you! You gotta follow me too, us Jill's have to stick together. I can't wait to see pics! Sorry about the crash landing back home... lol

binks said...

Usually it is my hotel room that is haunted.
Hope they didn't steal your remote.
Other than the side trip, hope you had fun!

Eudea-Mamia said...

Definition of tragic irony:

You get back in town the DAY my parents show up!!!!

I'm so slipping them a rufy at lunch so that I can catch up with your travels.

Glad you're alive and well (well, sort of well)!!

Tiffany said...

Haunted? Then I guess my voodoo doll worked then didn't it? I can't WAIT to hear the details. Welcome home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gingela5 said...

Welcome back! I'm sorry your trip home was stinky! Can't wait to hear about the haunted ship!

georgie said...

stoppin by to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and just in case your my sss you are looking beautiful I didnt even notice those dark circles under your eyes or the puffy-ness in your cheeks...
you are looking mighty thin these days have you lost weight? ;-)
hugs love ya Jill

nikkicrumpet said...

YAY you're back...and you deserved said inconveniences for leaving us for so long. I'm pretty sure your sister called the airlines and made it happen...just to punish you! Glad you're home safe and sound...you were missed!

Threeundertwo said...

Welcome Home!

Wheezer said...

Did you fly Delta? They can't go anywhere without a maintenance delay! Missed you, girlie, can't wait to hear about your haunted cruise!

Linda S said...

oh, my gosh...at least you are all in one piece and didn't lose the alcohol! so Deb gets the cigs and I get the alcohol? right??

we missed you...

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Damn. That sucks. I hate when they are phoney about making your life pure hell. Welcome home?

Sabrae said...

Which is precisely why we drive everywhere! And we dont leave the country! :)

Justine said...

Wooooooooooo hoooooooooooo! Welcome home girl! Okay, that TOTALLY sucks that you got stuck and had to go through all that, but I cannot wait to read more about your vaca and a haunted ship! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and cigarettes for Christmas presents? That's class for ya! LOL

Justine :o )

Kgirl said...

Ha! I lived in that hell hole for 3 years. It is the way it is on that Island...Just be lucky the taxi/shuttle didn't break down on ya!!

Rhonda said...

Oh. My. God! You poor thing! Can't wait to hear more and to see the pictures...

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