"We Apologize For Any Inconvenience This Delay May Cause You"

Let me go down on record by saying that a perfectly wonderful vacation can be pissed away on the flight home

WHEN...

1. The plane you are scheduled to fly across the ocean on has 1.5 hours worth of maintenance prior to your boarding it.
2. That 1.5 hour of NECESSARY maintenance made you miss your connecting flight.
3. You are put up for the night in a hotel that has ONE person driving the shuttle to and from the airport to pick up the 60 some-odd stranded passengers and because you are pushed and shoved out of the way, don't make it to your hotel room until after midnight.
4. You have no clean clothes because you have checked everything in your carry on that was of necessity for the duty-free booze and cigarettes you purchased for Christmas presents prior to knowing that you MIGHT NEED that make up and deodorant because nothing says Merry Christmas like Cirrhosis of the Liver and Lung Cancer.
5. You have received a meal voucher and, again, because it is after midnight, don't get to use it because the hotel restaurant is closed.
6. The hotel restaurant doesn't open until 6:30am, but your flight leaves at 7am...meaning no breakfast either.
7. When finally arriving to your destination city to find out your luggage is lost.
8. If I hear one more person tell me they are sorry because they inconvenienced me I.WILL.CHOKE.THEM.
9. And my ankles swelled because I think I am in renal failure and now have Congestive Heart Failure from all the alcohol consumed...
10. But, I am back.

WHOO HOO!!!!

I am home!!!!

Let me catch my breath and find my camera. I have so much to share.

Preview:
1. The ship we sailed on was haunted.
2. Tiff and 3D- you cursed me, I know you did!!!!

Confused?! I will fill you in tomorrow. Or tonight, if I get my act together.