In Case I Die

As I frantically try to read up on all my favorite blogs before the power goes out and batten down the hatches around here, I was thinking, I have no idea what I will say today. I don't have Photoshop, so I can't do anything funny like Tiff from Stuck in the Sticks.(sorry no time to linky)

And because I am a drama queen and think there is some remote chance that here, south of Dallas, might be in the path of stupid ol' IKE and I have a chance of being a statistic, I want to let everyone that I have ever commented on and that has commented on me, that I love you. Even mean adorable Dana from LIFE IS GOOD. (again, sorry no time to link) Just in case the house falls on me and all that is left are my striped leggings and glittery red shoes sticking out, I want my blog family to know how important you are to me.

I am not getting mushy, because I hate that snot thing, but I am really bonded to you guys and if I survive, am looking forward to getting to know the new "blood" I have met thru SSS. And speaking of SSS, if I am never found in all the rubble, whoever draws my name can mail it to Amelia because she probably would have eventually whined until I gave it to her anyway.

So, quickly, before I lose power, I saw this on The Mom, Jen's, blog this morning. She is over on my blogroll under Cheaper than Therapy(again, forgive me, no link). She had this wonderful idea to tell what you are doing this weekend using the word THERAPY. So here are my Hurricane Plans for today:

T: Take all my ferns in and Talk one last time to my friends (sob).

H: Help my husband clean out the other side of the garage to get all his sh-stuff from his truck in and Holler at my kids to help instead of watching TV.
E: Eat. duh. Explain to my kids how much I love them and how sad they would be if I was crunched under a giant beam and how they should have been nicer to me.
R: Rick. I am going to hold his hand and kiss him and tell him how lucky he is. Regret that I haven't even gotten to show you my cool toenail polish. Yes Tiff, I was planning on giving you a warning.
A: Accept the fact that I won't ever be a size six again and be happy with the double digits. Act like I know what I am talking about when I speak about math or computers, cuz I really don't.
P: Pee on the Toilet. Important to add "on the toilet", since I am sure when you die, you pee yourself. And poop. Sometimes, but I have already done that today, so I think I am good. And you're welcome for the info. Prepare lunch, lasagna, to be exact. I want to go out on a good Martha Stewart note.
Y: Yak as I am cleaning out the hall closet under the stairs to die, I mean hide in, because there are dust bunnies in there as big as footballs and I want my last breaths to be clean ones. Yammer on and on about how if I was still alive, I would be the next Dooce and make millions and have all my blog friends live in the community I have built for them, so we can hang out at our pools and drink and laugh while our nannies take care of the kids and our maids are cleaning our houses, and the chefs are making our favorite meals. Amelia, 3D Deb, Georgie, Tiff, Tena, Sue, Jen, Karen, Leslie, Dana, Sidney, Swirl, Coral, Deb, Gin, Tracy, both Hollys, Elaine, Poppet, Janie, Stalker, Brittany, Ronda, Rhonda, Amy, Lisa, Mariah, Chris, Carrie, Krista, Jill, Danielle, and all my new friends would be there, taking turns having the nightly bash at their house that I would build for them. It would've been so FUN!!!!!

Okay, things are getting crazy here and my husband is on his way back from doing payroll and I have to act like I have been working and not writing. The winds have picked up and it's raining harder. Claire has asked a friend to come over and the crazy fool is actually getting out in this weather. Stupid parents. Oh well, just another set of eyes to watch me pass from this life. Better go put makeup on so I can look good in the coroner pictures they might have to take of me. God, I hope my cellulite butt and legs aren't going to show...

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!! Good bye!!!!