My daddy called it "torking his jaw". And it goes a little something like this...
1. Put your teeth together.
2. Put your hand on your jaw.
3. Now bite down with your teeth together and feel "the tork".
4. Do it over and over.
Whenever we saw daddy's jaws move, we knew the wrath was about to fly. Sometimes we got the warning, "That really torks my jaw!" and we stopped midair whatever we were doing, guilty or not. (I don't do the "tork", because things get on my nerves too much and I would develop TMJ to the extent that I would have to wear the apparatus 24/7, plus I am a big fat wuss and hate pain.)
Below are the things that make me crazy and torked my daddy's jaw:
There are 2 types of these people as well as 2 speeds in which they crunch (and you know who you are):
1. The closed-mouth crunchers.
*The slow crunchers are the least annoying, but still make me want jab a sharp stick in my eye.
2. The open-mouthed crunchers.
*Slow or irritatingly speedy crunchers make me want to jab my fist in their eye. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PEOPLE!!! Shut your f'n mouth!
**Last Drop Straw Suckers**
Really?!! Are you really THAT thirsty that those last 2 drops will quench that thirst? The sound you hear is the universal language meaning "IT IS GONE". And PLEASE quit pulling the straw in and out to strategically place it over the liquid that isn't there.
My friend, you are not a dog. You did not just drink out of a bowl and hopefully you haven't just licked your ass. You have a bad taste in your mouth. Why must you punish yourself and those within earshot by tasting it and re-tasting it over and over?
**The Teeth Suckers**
They sell these little things that are toothpicks and floss together. They are inexpensive. If you need a loan from me to purchase these items, please let me know.
**The "Do I have a booger" Inhale /Exhale Test**
Yes, you do, or you wouldn't have had the need to do that action. And PLEASE use a tissue, not your finger to remove the cliff-hanger. Or worse, blow it out on a hefty exhale.