Monday, September 29, 2008

Just A Drop

Rick and his mom, Norma(notice the no window coverings...)

I just wonder if anyone else has this issue:



My great-beyond-words husband uses all my expensive shampoo.



He is bald.



Every night when I get in the shower, there on the bench sits my shampoo bottle, open. Every night his cheapo good-smelling Suave sits closed. Every night after my shower, I ask him, "Did you use my shampoo again?" Every night he says,"Just a drop."



My hair is very thick and neither me, my mom, nor my sisters can wash their hair daily. We are every-couple-of-days washers. No oil. I know, hate us. But I will trade for skinny legs, because I can wear a wig, so shut it.



Anyway, I buy a huge bottle of shampoo. The kind that costs $30 at the salon. The kind that if I wasn't so damn lazy I would get up, go into my bathroom and specifically name. But for now, it's the white bottle shampoo. The white bottle shampoo that should last me 3-4 months. The bottle that I have to replace every month. The bottle my bald great-beyond-words husband uses to wash his hairs with every morning and every night.



I can count the number of hairs on his head and I am not God. I can shave his head with a number one and it takes 3 minutes. I can see my brushes lie untouched in my drawers because he doesn't brush his hairs. And I can count on going back to my salon and buying the 387oz (again, making that up because I am too lazy to go see the real ounces) bottle in a couple of days.



The effects of loving a bald man who loves to shampoo. What's a girl to do?




34 comments:

Linda S said...

switch em...put the good stuff in the suave bottle and put the el cheapo crap in the good bottle. I know it takes some time, but it's good for a laugh!

Dawn said...

Start washing your hair in the sink and keeping YOUR shampoo under the kitchen sink. LOL

He's a stinker! He must like the smell of it?!? I mean it can't be doing anything specifically for his HAIRS.

Mrs Parks said...

I'm with Linda...
I was planning it all out as I was reading and then I got here and discovered Linda was 30 minutes smarter than me!
You must switch the bottles.
I did this for years when Wen was growing up and I know for a FACT some salons do it in their back-bar.
Sneaky bitches.

Tiffany said...

I think you should hide your shampoo. But those other smart women before me had great idea of switching bottles. Maybe he just loves to smell like you. And I have to wash my head daily. Damn you and your fluffy clean hair!!

georgie said...

LMAO...I own a bald man too!

Ronda's Rants said...

Poop..Linda thought of my answer...but that IS what I would do have a fake bottle with his cheap crap in it!!! Problem solved...anything else? You can call me Dr.Phil

Deb said...

holy shit we soo are related.
yup, no oil here either. i can go 3-4 days and have gone 6 and you can barely tell.

i am lucky though. my husband has a delicate scalp (he's such a friggin girl) and can only use a specific shampoo. so he never touches mine. which is by the way 378 ozs...

The Mom said...

Luckily my hubby uses the cheap stuff that he also uses to wash the cars! His scalp is so clean! LOL

Jen said...

You are a crack up! I understand your frustration, men just don't get it.

gingela5 said...

I would tell him to go buy it next time you run out! And I don't wash my hair everyday either! My hair is thick, frizzy, and dry so it would kill it if I did!

Farrago said...

Ummm... Exactly which hairs is he washing? Is it the hairs that nobody else but you will ever see or smell? That's just wasteful.

For what it's worth... I haven't shampooed my hair in over two years.

Nana nana nya nya!

I do, however, shampoo my eyebrows. They're dense, and if I don't, they get dandruff in 'em. I'm going on two years with the same 20 oz. bottle of Alberto VO5 Free Me Freesia (whatever that means) shampoo.

Shelley said...

You are too funny.

careysue said...

That's hilarious...I have a bald husband too!!! I have often thought of that. He uses my shampoo too--I don't even let the kids use mine and they have hair! hahahaha

Why don't they use soap for gosh darn sakes! it's just there freakin scalp!

I agree with everyone switch the bottles...I know for sure they put cheap ketchup in the more expensive ketchup bottles in restaurants! So, what's the dif!

You're so funny!

Tenakim said...

Mine does the same thing AND uses hair "product" and has a brush- I have hair and don't own a brush!

amelia bedelia said...

Let the poor man use your shampoo!! you bully!! I'm on your side Rick! If you'd have given me that awesome turquoise bracelet, my tone would be different.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Honey, that is wrong. Can you hide it under lock & key? Rick. Stay the hell out.

Annie said...

At least it was being USED. MY LG dumps everything. I left her in the shower ( call the police) to get her jammies and came back and she had dumped out in their entirety 3 bottles of shampoo, 1 conditioner, and 1 shower gel to "make bubbles" in the drain.
They were not the cheap stuff I make my husband use either. Let's just say it was a $75 trip to replenish the liquids at my casa.

Linda's idea is perfect! Switch-a-roo.

dana wyzard said...

My love god is bald. My hair is soft, baby fine, and I hate you!! I have to wash my hair every single day then do all kinds of tricks (like standing on my head when I dry it) so I don't look as bald as HE is!!

My hair conditioner was disappearing and since I don't use it due to my thin hair, I was at a loss.....Til I saw love god using the conditioner on.....on.....his MUSTACHE!!!

"Why?" I asked. And he said.......(I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my medal for sainthood here) he said......."because you said it scratches you.........there"

ahem.

Swirl Girl said...

Pick your battles babe.

I'd rather have a bald man who is thoughtful enough to fly my sister and mom for my birthday and who uses my shampoo , then a hairy man who buys me a basketball for my birthday and uses the Suave.

Pick your battles...

Janie said...

Speaking of taking shit...

MLH took my Yukon XL to Pennsylvania - along with my Vitamixer and other stuff.

The truck and other stuff is fine...but my VITAMIXER???

J'Ollie Primitives said...

get him his own dang bottle. Remind him often and frequently that you are a saint for meeting his hair needs.
Even if he has no hair.

Elaine A. said...

Well, he may use your fancy shampoo but at least he's wearing the right college t-shirt! : )

So, how did he react when he read this post? {tee hee}

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Everyone stole my ideas! Let me think of another one. Oh! You can have duel bottles of shampoo (the expensive stuff) and put a red mark on the outside of each bottle. the one who reaches the red first, owes the other dinner AND buys the shampoo from now on!

amelia bedelia said...

YOU GO!! DANA!!!

Dawn said...

ROFL @ Dana!!! I almost peed myself!

It's been so long since my husband has been "there" that I almost forgot what that meant! LMAO

Megan said...

(reading the comments) Linda had SUCH a good idea! That is funny...I wonder if he would realize it!?!

georgie said...

LMFAO@Dana and this comment gets BEST comment EVER in my book!

Jill Jill you up i need you

Kgirl said...

Too Funny, maybe its not his head he is using it on...hmmmm? OK, that is just wrong...OMH Dana that is funny

Scary Mommy said...

Get him back by using his razor. Maybe that will do the trick!

Deb said...

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. You could shave your head.

Good N Crazy said...

I've got it. Replace the shampoo with something weird like maple syrup. See if he even notices?

And ME! I never have window coverings. Never. I tell folks it's the minimalist in me, which is of course hilarious, cuz if you've seen my blog....CAN'T DO minimal to save my life....!

Kritta22 said...

Seriously your salon must love you!!
I wonder why he likes it so much! Too funny!

nikkicrumpet said...

I laughed all the way through that. I'm glad he does that just so we get the funny story!

c said...

your husband is from my neck of the woods and has on a texas shirt??

i was taught to hate texas early, but i never grasped the concept of hate

and i so do wish you were closer, we have home health a few hours a week, but well, not saying anything since i can't think of anything nice to say

my mind is wrapped in burning farm field ashes from my latest trip to the rock