Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Rummager and The Sticker

Is it just my kid or have my actions turned him into a total freak?

My kid is a scavenging rummager.

He rummages around in every drawer, cabinet, and closet in the house and takes all the "neat cool" things he believes must be his. He knows virtually where everything is we have been missing for the last 6 years. Just bring it up in a random conversation. For example, "I wish I knew where that 6 foot long cable cord with the orange tape on it that was in the game room upstairs before we moved is." Without even moving his head, while watching TV or reading or playing on the computer, he says,"Oh, it's in the bottom shelf left side of the fireplace, 3rd cabinet."

"Does anyone know where the thingymabob that goes with that doohickey is?"
"It's in the upstairs armoire in the drawer next to the Trivial Pursuit game."

But I had to start "THE RULE" in my house when he was about 4 and could reach the handles to any cabinet or drawer: the IF IT'S NOT YOUR'S- DON'T TOUCH IT rule. The rummaging was becoming a hobby of his. If he had a little time on his hands, every drawer and cabinet and closet was left open with all the "insides " hanging out. He was taking every unclaimed item found and adding it to his arsenal of worthless finds he couldn't live without. But he throws caution to the wind and still does it. All. The. Time.

Because he hasn't fine-tuned his rummaging ability, he is a very noisy pilferer. And I can tell when he has found a treasure because the rustling suddenly stops and sometimes, if it is a trinket that for years has been misplaced, I hear an audible gasp. If the dig has unearthed a great secret treasure that he knows he should not possess, I hear nothing following the gasp. If it's something deemed "ok with mom" he will shout out, "You will NEVER guess what I just found!"

And he is right., I can never guess. It's my fault. I take total blame. I used to throw away everything. If it was out and I had no idea what it was, into the trash it went without any hesitation. Then 4 days later, someone would say, "Have you seen that black piece of plastic that I need for my____ that is irreplacable?" Or, "I laid the component needed for the ____ that costs $674 to replace on the counter and now I can't find it." I used to confess to the trashing of said valuable unrecognizable parts, but soon learned by saying nothing and shrugging my shoulders no one could pin it on me, which cut down tremendously on the guilt they made me feel.


It's a sickness I have that makes me shove that small priceless piece of 'whatever' into the drawer of the entry piece as I answer the door so people won't think we are as trashy as we really apparently are. As we speak, I have a hammer and a level in the pot holder drawer right beside my stove. For no reason. Because I am a "sticker".

So now, if I don't know without a doubt it's trash, I just stick it somewhere. In a drawer or cabinet or whatever is closet to said object when I am cleaning. Budget has prevented me from getting the full-time maid, butler and chef I want, so I have to do it all. And I apparently suck at organization. So the next best thing for me is "sticking".

I want to be organized. I know I should be organized. I know I could be organized. But it so much faster just to stick it away with no rhyme or reason to why I am sticking it there. And it's all about convenience for me. Until I need to find it again.

I just pray Cooper never gets amnesia or I am screwed. I will never find my tape measure.


24 comments:

Ronda's Rants said...

Usually that kind of memory is reserved for the female offspring in the family...my daughetr knows where everything is...two boys in the famliy...cluelss! We joke that our uterus' are homing devices!

Deb said...

OMG, that is sooo me. I will just pick things up that have ben lefton the buffet or coffee table/desk and toss em. If it's been there more than a couple days, it must not be important. And then I hear the dreaded 'Did you notice where the pipe crimper went?' I try to play it off, 'what does it look like' knowing full well I trashed the sucker. i cannot stand clutter and to me, that's just clutter.

amelia bedelia said...

We inherited that "gift" from mother. Erin "ms. organize everything" and I were looking thru mom's recipe box and found Dad's wisdom tooth, a piece of felt, 12 screws and a part # to her 1974 washing machine that Dad had scribble on a a gum wrapper.

Insane Mama said...

yea, if he gets amnesia you really are screwed

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Do you have lots of junk drawers? I'm the same way. Even the kiddo knows to pay attention to where Moter dear left her keys.

TX Poppet said...

I'm so with you on the toss thing. Wouldn't you know, I married a pack rat.
Hey, we went to the Galaxy Drive-In Sunday night just because you said to. Thanks for the tip, everybody loved it!

jill jill bo bill said...

ALL of my drawers are junk drawers!!!

JenniBeanV said...

I don't know where anything is, either. The only problem is at my house is that I don't have a rummager so if something is missing? We are just out of luck!

jill jill bo bill said...

Ronda- see I had a hys, that's my problem.
3D- Does this mean you will clean my house when you get here?
A- oh thank god, and I thought I was weird!
IM- so, so screwed
TP- WHAT?! And you didn't call me?! I live like 3 minutes away from there! Shoulda come by!

jill jill bo bill said...

Jen- I will send mine right over!

Jennifer said...

None of my kids ever know where anything is! In fact, they could be standing at the open refrigerator staring at the orange juice and they'll say "I can't find the orange juice!" In other words --the opposite if your son!

I'm a sticker too!

texasholly said...

You guys are a match made genetically. You need his ability and without you sticking things everywhere he would have no entertainment!

I just finished day 2 of closet cleaning, OK TOY closet cleaning...a few more days and I might be able to open a closet without your son running to it in glee...

Swirl Girl said...

I am so anal retentive about things that I am hopelessly organized - in an unorganized way to the untrained eye, mind you.

My sister on the other hand is the ultimate packrat slob. She has boxes in rooms that are still unpacked from 7 years ago. Out in the open, too!

I can put my hands on anything you ask for....except my damned sunglasses... and car keys...and your Nintendo DS game, and that small screwdriver for glasses.

Word.

Leslie said...

I too am a sticker. God forbid I ever become a hoarder.

TentCamper said...

we have an 11 year old rummager. It kind of sucks cuzshe fiddles, picks up and plays with everything. I fear the day that she asks us what this (a vibrator) is.
Nothing is private in her eyes.

Brittany said...

HAHAHAHAHA! I could have easily written this post!

h2ofossil said...

I have several junk drawers. I pretty much know where stuff is but the hystie thing explains why I lost my edge!

Thanks for the insight!

Deb said...

Jill,
I will, but I promise you right now that you will never find a thing. The remote, keys, TV guide, change (I know where I put that though-heh), school work, bills...are you getting it?
You might want to re-think this.

Janie said...

You told me I could have Cooper. Now make good on your deal. Remember, I have great dogs.

But the real deal is, I need him because I can never find a freakin' thing.

Will you hire him out, as a last resort?

NucMEd is Hot said...

My kids are hoarders, both of them. It gets so bad that I will clean their rooms with trash bags when they are not home and then tell then that I just picked up the floor and straightened the bed. Want to know how I know I have never tossed a true treasure, because no one ever comes looking for the trash I tossed.!

georgie said...

hehehehahaha ooooooo I feel your pain....lilest bean is a "junk drawer carnivore" I swear it-IF she came to your house she wouldnt go through your medicine cabinet NOPE it would be your junk drawer cuz everyone has one doncha know!

and my MIL just enables the lil thang-she has a huge junk drawer set aside JUST.FOR.HER pfffft how in the hell can I compete with that?

hooch out

The Mom said...

I'm a total sticker!! Every other drawer we have are junk drawers! I need a intervention!

Scary Mommy said...

I need to get me a Cooper. I have no clue where half my shit is and I end up with 3 rulers, 6 screw drivers, 11 staplers because of it. I need some serious help in that department!!

Lisa said...

My oldest is a collector. She wants to save everything. If I let her, every drawer in her dresser would be filled with everything that either should be somewhere else or should be thrown away. She tries to hide things and convince her younger sister that everything should be hers.