I open my email and this is what is in my inbox today:
Zone Pilates Team
One nutrient all women over 40 need
Get trim and fit for less
Generate your own stem cells
Diminish hunger and boost your mind
Bastards! How do they know I am fat, over forty, having memory issues, and may need my stem cells regenerated? Huh?!
God knows I don't ask for information from exercise places, shop at health food stores, order diet plans, nor have I ever clicked on a stem cell ad.
Alrighty, then. I am feeling quite chipper up until I realize that even my sightless computer has turned on me.
Then my skinny 20 year old calls me:
"Mom, can you go to GNC's and pick me up some 'Weight Gain'?"
"Because Trevor, I will go in there, find it, put it on the counter, and the guy will say,'DAMN! This stuff works! And I will be thrown in jail for murder. Not today."
"Okay. Love you."
"Love you, too."
By the way, as you all know, as far as the Hottest Blogger Females Calendar, I am not in the top 12...yet. I have been advised to go on YouTube, advertise in the newspaper, and take extreme measures to get my name out there and solicit votes. So if you drive by the same homeless person under the bridge and he's holding a sign that reads "Vote for Jill Jill Bo Bill" drive on by and know I have taken care of him and his drinking problem and you are in the clear until Monday.
Now do what the bum said and vote!! Vote a thousand times. It may or may not count. But it's worth a try....
Swimsuit Confidence: Year Six
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