My Dearest Amelia Bedelia,
Now, honestly, the cocoa krispie incident was not your fault. You were born the strange oddity on the back of your neck and as fate had it, with one fail swoop of a gay man's comb, it is but a shear memory.
But I love you and thus want our newest mutual cyber friends to know and love the Amelia I watched grow up.
You were always the happy oblivious one who giggled and got in trouble for never stopping. I remember the precious sound of your childhood laugh and want the others to share the joy.
It went a little somethin' like this:
Jill:"You are a retard.'
Jill: "Gag, you farted."
Jill: "God, go to bathroom, you sicko."
Jill: "Hahahahaa. Can you not laugh without farting?"
Amy: "HeeeheeeeheeFaRRRRRRtheeeeheeeeeeFaRRRRRRRRRt FaRRRRRRtheeeeheeeeheeeee"
Jill: "You are a retard."
And so the story goes....laughing makes you fart and farting makes you laugh. It's a vicious, vicious cycle. And God help us this weekend.
I love you.
Your loving sister,
PS: Hope you are farting as we speak.